Do you ever feel like your lying about having ptsd?

[Stephernovas]

Yep! But for me I largely don’t give a crap about what other people think of me once I’ve decided to say it. I do find it harder to function when high on anxiety and wish I felt I could rely on more people who I’ve told because I don’t trust my brain.

For example, I recently called somewhere that I had a short-term contract with, asking how many payments I have left. They guy told me one more. I made him double check and then asked him a third time. I either forget or am so nervous/excited something is going to benefit me that I’m just waiting for some kind of mess up - like he miscalculated, I misheard or something. I’m just waiting for disaster to strike. All the while in the back of my mind telling myself I’m fine and just a crazy over-reactor. Lol help. Hahah

 

[Deleted member 12723]

All the while in the back of my mind telling myself I’m fine and just a crazy over-reactor.

I understand you just fine and I do not think you are overreacting or it does not seem this way to me. I have been caught off guard a few times that really were painful and costly snafoos because some person on the other end of the phone did not either know what they were talking about and they did not check and tell me what I wanted to know correctly still being a painful and costly experience for me in correcting whatever the situation now calls for as a result of these things.

People are mostly lazy I have learned and rare is the person that checks to make sure so it seems what you did to make sure makes so much sense in this light.

Worrying about it is a habit I have. Nine times out of time, I discover that I worried needlessly and still need to work on finding out sooner so that I do not worry. I have been a worrier all of my life so I can relate to that.

I do not think that you are overreacting but rather it seems to me that you may possibly be worrying over this for your own reasons from the past ingrained habits you may have had to develop in order to survive. I hope this is useful and makes sense and if not please just ignore what I have said okay?

 

[Stephernovas]

I understand you just fine and I do not think you are overreacting or it does not seem this way to me. I h...

It makes complete sense. I am finding it strange that practically everything can set me off. Or, some days I’ll wake up and have a PTSD day. It’s like my brain is switched to “ultra-fast” today. I was telling someone today I was anxious, but then I realized I said the same thing yesterday. I went on to explain I was anxious both days, but they are each a different kind of anxious. Lol...I can’t wven trust my own thoughts anymore I feel my perception is so distorted now lol..others say they think I’m super smart, so cool. But inside I’m just a little nut.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I was telling someone today I was anxious, but then I realized I said the same thing yesterday.

I can relate to this, Stephernovas. I know now that when I have this kind of anxiety. it is time for me to slow myself way down and try to find what is surfacing in me that I need to address and discover. I do not know how it is for you but I understand what you are saying and I can relate to what you are experiencing.

I am finding other hidden issues under the anxiety and it is a way to tell me that I am not imagining something I tend to easily dismiss and tend to write myself off about too.