Do You Ever Wonder????

[Srain]

It's a great question and one I've changed my answer to at different times. I've actually done a lot of things I've wanted to just because I couldn't stand still, so I've been able to see a lot of wonderful places and met some wonderful people but the cost was knowing I realizing I could never stay be connected. Would I have lead the same kind of life? No, I would have been just the opposite, no doubt. I got what I wanted work-wise the hard way but I got it. It took me 20yrs to get the partner I was looking for and I suffered a lot of abuse while looking, that would have not happened, yet I would not have been ready for him. We are two very different people and I had a lot of traveling to do.

It is hard not to be working, I hate it, however I have had the opportunity to really be there for and get to know people I otherwise might have been too involved in a career to do. I knew from a very early age that work was for me and I loved it!! How strange that was cut off sharply for me, my mind has turned on me. It would have been nice to not have been raised by people that constantly said what was blue was red and set a boundary only to cross it with straight faces, ignoring all my questions about what was going on.

Making my own reality at times is the only way I can deal with life when it is too frustrating I think! Hmm, I never thought of it like that before. I get the wanting to disappear but this is most likely the key to my derealization episodes.

Rain

 

[Froggie]

What an impressive thread. Yes I do sometimes think about the "What Ifs" then I realize that all what I went through made me who I am and I'm so glad that I'm not a fatalist. As Rain so well put : Making my own reality ... is the only way I can deal with life ... How true. OK, maybe we have PTSD, but it is so amazing to read all the insights and perceptions people have forged through this illness. Yes, those horrible experiences have left us with handicaps (social, financial, professional, health, etc.), but as a human being, it is very amazing what comes out of all this. We sometimes have to stop and think of what we have and not the maybe I would have this or that. Yes, it is easier said than done, but it has to be said.

 

[Kim]

Thanks Rain and Froggie. I never looked at it that way and you're absolutely right.

My childhood and the PTSD have made me what I am today. Without it I wouldn't be me. I'm a good person and have nothing to be ashamed of (although the PTSD makes it hard not to be at times). Yes, I've paid dearly along the way but I probably wouldn't have met my wonderful husband or had the children I have.

Maybe it's time to start a new thread........ The Pros of having PTSD!!!