Poll Do You Have a Difficult Time Expressing Yourself?

[intothelight]

There are times I am so far inside myself that I cannot express anything outwardly.

 

[spursfan80]

Oh yes! It's so much easier to 'talk' on here where there is no-one in front of me, waiting for the words to come out in the right order. I never used to have a problem talking, but I've always been shy. Now I can get a sentance together in my head and have it come out my mouth in a completely different order! That could be why I don't talk to other people much!!!

 

[Gamereign555]

I used to be really bad at expressing myself and was pretty lost in my own head as a kid/teen. I started getting to know people in an attempt to address my problem and I eventually got pretty good at it. After ptsd I think I'm still pretty good, but I get stumped on simple questions like 'how do you feel'.

 

[Kintsugi]

Sadly, I am great at saying how I feel accurately and elaborately, but I am SO bad at showing it in a way that other people understand. I am misinterpreted constantly in my behaviors or demeanor.

 

[Srain]

I am a babbler, obviously, yap yap yap...I have difficulty talking TO the point. I can see and feel it well for others, but when I'm trying to discuss about me I get all over the place and sometimes just cannot shut up. It's embarrassing when I'm manically out of control and in public because I question everything I think and say. It keeps me isolated. I find as I'm talking that I want to shove the words back in my mouth and replay the whole scene as if I never showed up.

I over-express, is it noticeable?? ;)

Rain

 

[Lionheart]

I have gotten better at expressing myself, but I still have a long way to go. I have found that slowing down and trying to choose the proper words to express myself can be difficult at times, but yields better results. Still I have "hoof-in-mouth" disease and sometimes don't think about how what I say may come off, before I say it. I get excited to be sharing and don't want to lose my train of thought, so I speak anxiously.

When I was in A. A., they would often go around the room and take turns speaking and the anticipation of having to speak was intense. I found that every time I would speak, I would experience derealization and I would go "out of body."
I am not good at public speaking, but I like how being on the forum, we can take turns and get a chance to be heard.

I think it is much easier to write than it is for me to talk in "real" time.:confused:

 

[nie]

I had to answer sometimes. I am a teacher, and I guess in that I am "expressing" myself all day, 5 days a week. I do well in meetings that I set up and have an agenda that I set up. However, if I am in a situation with peers or authority figures that I cannot prepare for well in advance, I freeze or avoid. I am now able to express myself to my T and most of the time to my husband, but even with friends I cannot do it.

 

[sarahmmlewis]

I am about to cry. For a while, perhaps some years, I have had a hard time articulating myself. Growing up, I was always considered great at debating, arguing, etc and in college I was complimented on my ability to make and prove my points in class and in my papers. Then slowly I started having a difficult time finding my words when I wanted to describe something. Recently it's gotten pretty bad. Where did my astute vocabulary? I often find myself trying to grasp for the correct words when speaking with someone, stuttering, stumbling over my speech, only to choose the incorrect word in the end, resulting in utter humiliation. I look like a complete idiot, or worse, that I am trying to sound smarter than I am by finding words that are too difficult for me and using them out of context, which is not what I am trying to do at all... it's just that the words that I do know, temporarily go missing.

Furthermore, I have always been witty, quick on my feet, and fully of sass in social settings. But like the speech problem, slowly but surely, those gifts have left me as well. Someone will joke with me and I can't keep up or banter like I use to. I can either pause and take my time to find an adequate response which is futile as the point of such dialogue is to be very fast and think quickly on the spot-- timing is everything. Or, what usually happens, is I say something quickly but it usually is not funny, makes no sense, and awkwardness ensues.

I actually stumbled upon this forum because I was at WebMD looking up brain tumor symptoms. Of course, I do not have weakness, headaches, vomitting, difficulty walking, etc but one of the symptoms listed was "difficulty in expressing yourself." I copy and pasted that phrase in Google and this forum was the second link to show up. I clicked, read your responses and got chills. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD back in February. I had no clue that these symptoms that I have been sufffering with would be related to it until now. But it makes perfect sense.

 

[Pippi]

Sarah, I understand. All my life I have been praised for my verbal skills, and writing is all I have ever wanted to do, so that makes communication/expression issues even more difficult and heartbreaking.

Sometimes, when my boyfriend doesn't understand something I've said to him, I become frustrated at my own inability to communicate and I end up freaking out and saying things to him like, "You just don't understand what I'm saying!" He doesn't immediately realize that I'm upset with myself and not him. It's painful for both of us.

 

[Gamereign555]

I was diagnosed last February also. I only seem to disassociate, blank out.. things go in one ear and out the other as I say 'yes' and agree with whatever they are saying. I have a theory that this only happens to me when I am nervous, being a person that has ptsd I can be nervous to a lot of things though.

See I have noticed that when I took a class I could not understand the outline or main point of the class session, sometimes not catching what the instructor said. Unfortunately I also get that way in friendly and casual settings. Worse yet my stress builds to anxiety and perhaps panic when I expose myself to these situations, its worse depending on what I am doing, going to a class is the worst because it builds to panic proportions. When I talk with one friend its okay, but a group I just feel like I don't always catch what is going on. Have you ever felt alone in a sense when you are standing and talking with people you know?? How odd is that? But I have felt this way all my life. All the movement and interaction possibilities are too much for this ptsd now that I have it. I think like some of the other things you can expose yourself to enough of those situations to get used to it and grow from there. Personally I hate groups now, why pack on the anxiety if I don't have to? I probably will never have to interact with large groups anyway.

I believe you have to be comfortable to open your brain back up. Being comfortable is easier said than done though. The more you try though the more you get used to it, but I get it, once anxiety gets started it rolls downhill and its hard to stop until you remove yourself from the situation, then it seems to take time to recover. Every time you go out and talk to somebody, anybody really that exposure is going to help you next time. Once you are comfortable in your surroundings it'll get better but never the same as you once were probably. Of course the idea is to not re traumatize yourself, exposure may seem harsh at times but it is the only way to go from bedridden to walking to the mailbox everyday, to driving around the block, to driving to the store to finally driving to the mall or whatever seems nuts to you.

Owning the place or situation in which you are interacting with others will help always, if your job is customer service, you might be okay if you are proud of the job you do, and know that the job you did is appreciated. It worked for me anyway, I like helping people so that added a dimension that made it easy for me to communicate. But they are strangers though. Interacting with friends like I said for me requires something that I am probably going to have to exercise to get comfortable with it again.

 

[Elise]

I feel exactly as you do Sarah - it's uncanny. Like you say the words just seem to dry up when I want to say something. And like you, there's nothing wrong with my vocabulary. There are times when I seem to have no problem saying what I want to, and I think I'm quite well spoken when this does happen. But there are other times when the words just dont seem enough to say what I want them to.

I looked up symptoms of PTSD, and I dont think I have it, but have recently been through some emotional upheavals (divorce, crazy job), and perhaps this has affected my confidence. Does speech therapy of some sort help? - this question to all.

The sad thing is that it becomes something of a vicious circle. You end up being unable to express yourself adequately in social, and professional situations because of a couple of times when everyone's listening, and you spend about 15 seconds looking for the right word. By then you've lost attention. And then you feel like if you ever have to contribute to a conversation you need to have your sentence all figured out, and by the time you figure it out, the moment has passed. And you might even have a great point to make. Then you just feel like you've cheated yourself.

But I do feel comfortable writing, and that's something to be grateful for I guess.

 

[jo may]

LinkinPark Easier to Run is such a great song. I find talking hard but yet writing it all down is easy. I find it easier to close down and than I don't have to think about things. I know I lock people out but I bulit a wall and I won't let it crash again.