Poll Do You Have A Parent Or Parent's That Have Mental Health Issues?

[myself]

My mom was diagnosed with a Borderline personality, but lives in denial and refuses to get help or take meds for it.

My dad was diagnosed with brain damaged from an overdose that resulted in the oxygen being cut off to his brain for too long; he has a lot of impulse control issues, and cognitive and fine motor skill issues as a direct result. Also, he is schizophrenic and deeply depressed.

in fact, my whole family is pretty messed up; everyone has diffrent issues:

My eldest sisters is agoraphobic, but my family doesn’t talk about it. She does not leave her house, ever.

My next oldest sister has been diagnosed with social anxiety. She can not stand to be around large groups of people or crowds, even if they are all people who love and support her lovingly (she was heavily medicated to get thru her wedding)

And my youngest (adopted) sister has fetal alcohol syndrome, and god only knows what else. She hordes food and garbage, lies constantly, kills animals in horrable ways (which turns my stomach), and will say or do anything she thinks people want to hear or have her do even if it is dangerous to her health and wellbeing.

If her “friends” say it’s cool and fun and popular to do ___ she will do ____ even if it is not safe (like go party/get drunk when underage in the woods with men over twice her age who she did not know, miles away from town or other people, with no cell phone on her and no one informed where she’s going or when to expect her back). She has sex with anyone and everyone, frequently without protection, frequently with people she does not know, frequently with compleat moron losers who are really creepy and/or dirty and/or skeezy, and frequently it results in her getting some new STD. I'm afraid that one of these days it's going to be an STD that can't be cured or that might kill her, and I've told her this and that she needs to use protection, but she just tells me what she thinks I want to hear then keeps doing what she does regardless. I don’t know what is wrong with her, but I wish she’d get help. it's like she lacks common sence.

 

[TSG]

My family tree is also a withered and rotten thing that should have been cut down and burned long before I was born.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Both my parents had severe mental issues. My father was a Vietnam veteran and undoubtedly had severe PTSD as he suffered flashbacks and violent episodes for which he turned to alcoholism. My mother has had ever diagnosis under the Sun. Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar...the list goes so far that even her psychiatrists admit they don't know which ones are valid.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Mental illness and alcoholism run rampany both sides of my family tree, culminating in the couple fomerly known as my parents.

Father was a delightful chap, kept my mother and me as his prisoners for years, violence was like breathing for him. Ouside of the home he was life and soul of the party but would "sort people out" for kicks.

Mother, for 13 years I didn't know that she was anything but "normal" then I got to meet some other peoples mothers and realised that mine was nuts. Beat me with anything and everything she could lay her hands on. Spent umpty years in her dressing gown while I looked after her. Suicide was her friend.

It was like living in "The Shining". Full on door-axe interface.

I am sure there are very good reasons for all of this but when your 6 it's a bit much.

I have to laugh about much of it now, very dark bleak humour but it helps me cope.

 

[712xx]

What do you mean by mental health issues? I think most people could answer yes, just because most parents are mentally ill, and if they were not before having kids then they will be after the first few years -- read the official job description for 'parent' and tell me who in their right or left mind would willingly sign up for it? (just kidding ... mostly). There is a funny parent job description at the link below.

Link Removed

 

[Philippa]

Neither of my parents have had any formal diagnosis, and both scoff at the suggestion whenever I try and point out that they might benefit from therapy of some sort.

My father claims that he cannot stand to look at himself in the mirror and therefore this is proof that he isn't a full fledged Narcissist...but he certainly fits the profile from what I have read... reading his daughters diary and lying about it then twisting it around to make me out to be the bad guy, manipulating my little brother into giving up his own identity to become a mini-me version of him, gaslighting, manipulating to take the focus off his own f*cked behavior etc.

He also has had a history of depression. He exercises like a maniac to deal with this, and is fastidious about diet. Still hasn't managed to accept himself though...which can be the real cause of depression in some people. He has had a lot of damage done to him. His parents weren't very nice to him. He used to unload it all on me while I was a teenager, because I listened and have compassion. He didn't, however, reciprocate in that area.

My mother exhibits certain signs of both narcissism and borderline, but I'm not a professional, so I can't give them a label...but they are definitely extremely f*cked up and screwy!

Oh, but I'M the mental one. Really, I think we're all a bit mental. They're not bad people, they are just poisonous to me and I have grown to not enjoy their company that much over the years...but they tell me I'M the misery guts. I realized after some time that I was actually taking on all THEIR depression and misery, because they were too busy acting like they were happy and put it all on me to feel better themselves.

I agree with the poster above me...I think the first couple of years of being a parent makes them insane from lack of sleep for one thing...and not having any time to themselves.

 

[712xx]

I agree with you Philippa. Parents have expectations of their kids, and if their needs are not met (for example, if they had kids for the reason of getting love from them) then the parents eventually pawn the child off to other people because the kid is seen as 'defective' if they are not living up to expectations. They didn't get the kid they wanted, but now what to do with them?

The twisted thing is, parents often find a way to use the 'defect' to their advantage. Of course it isn't a defect at all, but by the time we are adults, we have been brainwashed to think we are less than human and don't deserve kindness from others ... for me, I was incapable of showing enough physical affection -- they punished me for it, and I learned to fake affection. My real feelings have been masked, and I got to where I didn't even know what my real feelings were till I was an adult and discovered there wasn't anything horribly wrong with me; just an atypical personality type, that's it. It would have been a let down if I were not so relieved, lol.

But, now I do have some serious anger issues I have to deal with; cutting the family out of my life helped a little, but does nothing to get that 'yuck' feeling out. Distractions and education have been my only real saviors. The main thing I keep focused on is to not spread my inner turmoil into the world. When people cross my path that remind me of people from my past -- it is very hard to dampen those triggers.

It is like instinct -- when a mouse smells a cat, they freeze and become hypervigilent. They know danger is near. Same with me; when my senses pick up on similarities to people that have been dangerous to me in the past, I tense up and start feeling a little crazy.

 

[Philippa]

Yes EXACTLY!

You said that so well, and it reminded me so much of this woman I once lived with who was doing exactly this to her 10 year old girl. I brought them both in off the streets and this woman tried to fob her daughter off to me, because she wanted to run off and have a life after 10 years of doing it on her own.

I had the distinct impression that she only had her to have a plaything to keep herself from getting lonely, and when I wouldn't give into her and take over from being the daughters mother...being "kind" to her as she thought...then I was terrible and mean and she gave me the silent treatment for 2 whole months (like my own mother used to)

This was a woman I didn't even know whom I brought in off the street!!

I just realized as I was typing this that the words "rescued" and "saved" both came up when I went to describe how I brought her in from the street. Hmmmm...maybe I was back in being the rescuer mode at the time? Thought I was over that?? Hmmm....might need some more work there after all?

At the time it didn't feel like I was, just that we had a spare room and I could see she needed a place to stay while she found a place, so I offered it to her. BIGGEST mistake!

 

[712xx]

I know what you mean Philippa. I still find myself faking a lot of emotions I don't actually feel, just because I don't know how to express my own feelings appropriately. I am afraid my real self won't be acceptable, and fall back on things I used to do as a kid. I mostly stay away from socializing as much as I can so I don't have to fake it. I feel much better when I'm working and being productive.

 

[Kimpersonal]

:alien::geek::ninja: :devilish: <<<<< this is a family photo. Ain't we cute? Bet yer jealous, eh? lol

Mom's side is fruity.
Dad's side is nuts.

I am a fruitcake.

 

[Britt.f7]

My mom had anger issues, I also think she had some depression. She came from an alcoholic home. My dad drinks whenever he is in a group. I don't know if he does it in private. He is a workaholic and he admits it is so things don't go around and around in his head. His parents were alcoholics. My great uncle once told me, that my grandpa(dad's) drove from Wisconsin out to Washington(I was two and having heart surgery) drinking all the way. There's definitely more in my family tree.

 

[Shellbell]

My mother has had depression for as long as I can remember. It doesn't accuse her abusive and enabling behaviour though.

My father was a pervert and was in a 'circle of friends' who all had two things in common - abusing children/teenagers and guns. I don't know if being a pervert/paedophile constitutes as a mental illness, or just evil.

Many women in my mothers family all have depression.