Do you have a suicide safety plan?

[Roland]

Do you have a suicide safety plan? If so, what is it? Did you use a template or make your own? Does anyone use an app, if so which one is recommended and why?

Most of the things I see on suicide safety things are basically things I never feel like I can use. I never want to go to call 911, go to the emergency room, or self admit to a mental hospital, because I don't have much money nor good insurance and I'm kinda afraid of the healthcare industry as a whole (I'm sorry, I'm extremely cynical, I hate society and people, I'm aware that these people are "good and help people" but I don't trust).

I have called a suicide hotline before and I found it somewhat helpful, she referred me to another hotline after understanding what I was dealing with. NAMI was much more helpful, but it's mental health resources and answers, not a crisis hotline.

I could definitely make my environment safer, last time I was suicidal I bought knives and they've been stashed in my car ever since because I don't want to ever be stuck with a dull knife again.

As far as contacting people I love and trust and are there for me, I don't like bothering people when I'm in a crisis, but also I do have people I will contact if I really need it (but only if I decide I'm not going to do it).

I'd love to hear about what others do, because I always feel like I'm in checkmate when I'm suicidal, afraid to get help, afraid to tell anyone, afraid of myself, afraid to do it, afraid not to do it.

I'm aware that this post is riddled with cognitive distortions, but that's actual things I believe and think when I'm suicidal and I really just don't want to be in that place again, but I see the threat of it spurring back up again. I'm not currently dealing with this, but the last "episode" was last March. So I know I'm not completely out of the woods yet.

 

[Sideways]

Right I'm not the impulsive type but when it comes down to suicide I'm more impulsive then usual.

This is really normal when it comes to suicidal behaviour. Research indicates that suicidal behaviour is very often impulsive. Which is not to say that it hasn’t been sitting in the background growing over time - both are true.

Typically, a person gets gradually more depressed and suicidal, but the act itself comes on quickly (and also tends to pass quickly).

That’s why suicide management, and safety plans, need to respond to both issues.

There needs to be something in place to deal with the strong impulse to suicide if and when it happens. Things like “I’ll call a can and go to the ED”, or “I’ll call my T for an urgent phone appointment, and won’t do anything till they call back” (agree on that one beforehand with your T!).

In addition, there needs to be things in place to deal with the steadily increasing thoughts/plans that come before that, to try and avoid that dangerous ‘impulse’ moment altogether. For example, monitoring your suicidality, and increasing meds/exercise/therapy at a certain point.

 

[Miyu38]

This is really normal when it comes to suicidal behaviour. Research indicates that suicidal behaviour is very often impulsive. Which is not to say that it hasn’t been sitting in the background growing over time - both are true.

Typically, a person gets gradually more depressed and suicidal, but the act itself comes on quickly (and also tends to pass quickly).

That’s why suicide management, and safety plans, need to respond to both issues.

There needs to be something in place to deal with the strong impulse to suicide if and when it happens. Things like “I’ll call a can and go to the ED”, or “I’ll call my T for an urgent phone appointment, and won’t do anything till they call back” (agree on that one beforehand with your T!).

In addition, there needs to be things in place to deal with the steadily increasing thoughts/plans that come before that, to try and avoid that dangerous ‘impulse’ moment altogether. For example, monitoring your suicidality, and increasing meds/exercise/therapy at a certain point.

Yes that why I stay away from water since that is when it mostly comes on. I know when I am more depressed then usual. I stay active most times since my job is labor intensive and I roller and ride my bike. I don't call my T for urgent appointments. She tells me to call her but I wait until the appointed time. My T has tried to put things in place but I usually don't follow it. I don't take medicine. I myself have to put in that effort and I don't so nothing my T can really do.

 

[Lionheart]

I try to stay current on my depression medication of which I take two; Wellbutrin and Effexor. One is for Major Depressive Disorder and the other is more specifically for Panic.

 

[Friday]

Yes that why I stay away from water since that is when it mostly comes on

People think drowning is a painless way to die.

It’s not.

Something happens when your lungs fill with water… you lose all control over your body, like sleep paralysis, but every nerve in your body SCREAMS like it’s been lit on fire, or is having acid poured over it. Makes running your eye with jalapeño juice feel like a cool summer breeze. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life, and I’ve been tortured.

<<< Former Rescue Swimmer. They drowned us in training, (in theory to remove the fear of it, since it’s super easy to pump the water back out, but I was never afraid of drowning until then… although to be fair? I also have no compunction about drowning someone who’s fighting, either, from that day on. Because it’s super easy to pump the water back out of their lungs. Fight me saving you, and I’ll punch you in the groin until you puke and suck water, or heimlich/elbow/knee your diaphragm, or choke hold the blood from your brain until you pass out & suck water. Or all 3 in quick succession. Either way? I now have 6 minutes of easy to get you into the harness, before your brain starts to die. And almost double that time to drain you if I don’t mind brain damage. Which, given the alternative of both of us dead? I can live with. Literally.).

And I’ve also drowned a few other times.

It’s the second most painful way to die I know of.

But? It IS quiet. Since you’re completely helpless, unable to move, or make a noise.

Just a word to the wise. There’s no peace in it. Just unimaginable agony, and then you’re braindead. I can’t speak to what braindead people feel. And then, rather a long time later? Dead-dead. Even being burned alive is a helluva lot faster. Even if it’s more annoying for onlookers, what with all the screaming and writhing.