Do you think healing means you have to feel everything?

[Snowflake]

Have been on therapy for almost 4 years now and there has been progression...BUT I also feel that this...

Omg that’s okay. I want to learn more from others.

 

[Rani G2]

Either I have progressed, and yes I see it. Also I run around the bush avoiding certain spaces... as long as I dobt face them.. Days like this will hit me on my face

 

[Friday]

When I was doing well I didn’t have a problem with feeling everything.

It’s when I’m doing badly that I’m feeling nothing, or too much too hard, or wrongly.

 

[EveHarrington]

What’s dissociated emotions @EveHarrington ?

I have two dissociated emotions, fear and anger. These two emotions are very unsafe for me so my mind does everything it can so that I feel them as little as possible. What happens is that something makes me feel fearful or angry.....my mind says “oh no we cannot have this!” and so I switch into a numb state of sorts where I cannot feel fearful or angry anymore. (I don’t go totally numb, just numb to those two emotions.) I can be angry at someone but soon thereafter the anger just magically “disappears” and I have no anger toward whatever it was that I was angry about. People can see the switch in me and nobody can understand it. I can be flipping mad at someone one day and then totally cool with them the next, with no resolution attempt in between. I also have a hard time being angry when I should be angry, ie at people who do me majorly wrong like my dad who abused me and continues to treat me like crap or my ex who had me so confused with his attempts to fix me that I didn’t know which way was up. I can feel angry in bursts, but my mind says “not safe!” and I quickly revert back to feeling numb again.

Does this make sense?

 

[Snowflake]

I have two dissociated emotions, fear and anger. These two emotions are very unsafe for me so my...

Absolutely! Sounds so much like me.

I do know that if I begin to feel the pain, fear, angry I think of suicide as a way to avoid feeling the feeling.