sickfaery
Learning
I don't think I really suffer from ptsd (even though I was diagnosed with it a while back) since I usually don't get anything or don't notice it anyway. the worst I'd get on a daily basis isn't bad at all like just a little sad bc I saw something related, but for what like 10 scs, and sometimes if I do something related to it, like try to talk about it (I usually don't even think about it ever), i'll get more pronounced symptoms like having a hard time articulating, and feel emotional and heavy physically. but basically I never get anything.
And two days ago, I got trigger really by something not sure what. but I basically experienced this weird thing which was basically: same feeling I had when it started out, just not as intense, (same feelings physically), was dissociated and felt like i had a pane of glass between me and the world. felt really uncomfortable, and dragged on. I felt very unsafe, vulnerable, felt their presence, felt like I was going to be hurt, and felt so weak and kinda shackey. was horrible. just curled up & waited for it to stop. tried watching shit on youtube, but it made me feel worse. litterally saw my trauma in everything. when it was over I was so exhausted & litterally just collapsed from it. I don't know what that is? some sort of flashback ig? idk
yesterday I felt the same way in a really waterred down way. the whole day. non stop. I felt jittery, anxious, really weak (not like physically exactly), dissociated, had a lottt of intrusive images & memories that disturbed me a lot more than usual. Felt so bad, couldn't do anything.
at night I got a really intense sudden anxious/panicky mixed with other shit emotion, that felt so horrible and felt really weak and like I was about to get a really bad flashback or something. I felt the same weakness jittery thing I had all day just way worse. felt like I was losing control. felt even more distanced from the world. It was really really horrinle. idfk what that was.
died down and felt the same I had before the whole day. it would only stop if I went numb or was anxious about something else. then when I'd be done. It would come back.
today I didn't have that exactly, only for maybe a few minutes but more watered down. but again I'm feeling pretty numb & was anxious about other things. I did get a lot of symptoms today though that I usually didn't get before.
Idk what to think about this.
And two days ago, I got trigger really by something not sure what. but I basically experienced this weird thing which was basically: same feeling I had when it started out, just not as intense, (same feelings physically), was dissociated and felt like i had a pane of glass between me and the world. felt really uncomfortable, and dragged on. I felt very unsafe, vulnerable, felt their presence, felt like I was going to be hurt, and felt so weak and kinda shackey. was horrible. just curled up & waited for it to stop. tried watching shit on youtube, but it made me feel worse. litterally saw my trauma in everything. when it was over I was so exhausted & litterally just collapsed from it. I don't know what that is? some sort of flashback ig? idk
yesterday I felt the same way in a really waterred down way. the whole day. non stop. I felt jittery, anxious, really weak (not like physically exactly), dissociated, had a lottt of intrusive images & memories that disturbed me a lot more than usual. Felt so bad, couldn't do anything.
at night I got a really intense sudden anxious/panicky mixed with other shit emotion, that felt so horrible and felt really weak and like I was about to get a really bad flashback or something. I felt the same weakness jittery thing I had all day just way worse. felt like I was losing control. felt even more distanced from the world. It was really really horrinle. idfk what that was.
died down and felt the same I had before the whole day. it would only stop if I went numb or was anxious about something else. then when I'd be done. It would come back.
today I didn't have that exactly, only for maybe a few minutes but more watered down. but again I'm feeling pretty numb & was anxious about other things. I did get a lot of symptoms today though that I usually didn't get before.
Idk what to think about this.