Do You Think

[sonicwhite]

That being so In love with someone's looks their personality. The way everything about them just makes you hate the thought of them leaving. How do I heal from something like that. I rarely think about sex with my ex, it hurts to bad. But I think of her smile. Her hazel eyes. And alway listening ears. She has a great body.


In a way she made me have more self confidence. But it all shattered when I went thru the psychosis.
I guess I looked like a pathetic weakling going thru all that. Today I can't seem to move on. I'm over her but I can't seem to just move past that I had everything I ever wanted in a person.



How does one heal from that? How do I let other women in who may not be as good looking as her into my life, cause I'm ready to move on.

 

[Sideways]

There are many remarkable people in this world. If you have been able to connect with one in the past, then there is no reason to doubt that you will be able to connect with another one in the future.

The people who have changed our lives and who we are, will always be part of what makes us our own person. When someone new comes into your life, they will be different from her, that's a given. But you'll find someone who has their own individual set of characteristics that you will fall in love with.

That happens when we begin to heal, develop self-esteem and self-confidence, and are ready to go out into the world and be part of it, making our own contributions and being confident and courageous about who we are an what we have to offer.

 

[sonicwhite]

Well I have this thing of being shy. I feel since I have been rejected so many times that it will just be the next outcome. I know church is a good place to find someone who is in line with what I believe, but it's not the real reason to go to church. Church for a believer is so they have fellowship a keyword and also hear the word of God.


I just feel that everybody I desire has to be up to par as my ex, I can't seem o move on from the looks issue if that makes sense. I'm tired but need to accept that maybe right now is just not a good time for me. I don't need to be sending wrong signals to anyone on face book on how I'm always alone because the reality of it. I can be with many woman but none of them are as good looking as as my ex. I feel like trash being this way. I feel like I'm just shallow and that's all their is to it.

 

[sonicwhite]

Been single for two and half years. Me and her just didn't click. Been away from the other ex eleven and I still to this day hen I get a dream about her it's like tearing my heart apart. I don't know if she was trying to make me jealous after we broke up but she did some damage to me and it's been this long and I can't get her out of my head. I must be some creep. Somebody that can't stop thinking about someone, even tho I hate it. I'm not enjoying thinking about her I can tell you that.


I just don't believe anything is in my future. If I can just accept that I can move on. No more hurting feelings of other woman because I don't like them. I want to be done with this. I am in no place as of right now to really be with anyone. But even if I was and like everyone says someone will come into your life. I have heard that so many times I just laugh. Cause i know it's not true. Ever since I accepted Christ into my heart I have walked the narrow road. And narrow it is. But I'm still unhappy. I'm still just wanting this worry to go away. I know the answer from God is No so I have to meditate on what He desires for my life and stop looking at the distracting waves that cause my faith to fail.

 

[Sideways]

There's nothing creepy about missing someone you loved. And it's healthy to be grateful that you had them in your life, even if it was just for a while.

It's also really healthy, when you're recovering from mental illness of any form to stop "actively looking" for someone special. Focus on you, your recovery and your well-being. I agree that probly your not in the right space at the moment for a relationship, but that will change with time as you heal. And the thing is, people are attracted to self-confidence. When we have that, some of the most remarkable people we'll ever meet come into our lives without us having to seek them out.

One thing for sure, you don't meet people locked away from the world in your room. When you're ready to go out and reclaim your place in the world, people of all persuasions will come into your life and you'll be in a better place to receive them.

You're being really hard on yourself about this - it's just not something you can force or will to happen. It just happens...when you're further down your recovery path. I'm not a God person like I've said before. But if that's part of you, this isn't punishment, it's just life, life is a challenge. So keep hope, and step up to the challenge - fight for your recovery and your place in this life. If you can do that, people will naturally be attracted to your self-confidence:)

 

[sonicwhite]

On my path to recovery I have had many setbacks. Some are still there but most are gone. I got a therapist and she is going to see me in May. This will be able to tell my story and why I am the way I am. My last therapist mostly focused on anxiety and obsessive thoughts. I deal with nightmares now and I haven't been able to tell the trauma really because I just realized what happened.



Like the tint green color of my skin after taking fixe x pill. That color was my organs failing. Another thing is my nightmares garadually started it didn't start as the trauma was going or after. It took about six years. I truly hope to find someone I can love and think with high esteem. I really do. The world is truly a evil place and it has too many things wrong with it for me to feel comfortable leaving here. Rape, molestation. Murder suicide. Cancer you name it we got it.


I don't want my ex back, I want her to be happy, I feel no ill feeling towards her and wish her the best. Self confidence comes from working. When I was working I felt so good about myself. I had good pride. As soon as I quit it all feel apart. I'm on ssdi. And I need to believe in myself that I can work. That I will be someone.


That's when I remember I attracted the most beautiful woman. Yet resisted because I guess I was blind lol. But today I struggle with addiction. I'm fat because I take so many meds. I'm going gray and I hope I don't go bald. One day I want to be a preacher. My dream and calling. I can't do these things if I have constant setbacks. Hope the therapy will also ease the nightmares.

 

[hangingon]

I always heard if you feel bad about yourself, help someone else. It really does turn your perspective around. Volunteer to help somewhere. If you're shy you don't have to do things that directly deal with people. I volunteered at a local shelter once. They had me stuffing envelopes. That wasn't my thing because I preferred to meet people. But there's always something for each personality type to do. This will take your focus off your ex, you'll be doing God's work & it may have the side effect of meeting new people. But one thing I know I pray for lately, instead of praying for certain people to notice/care about me, I pray to become the person worthy of the blessing of that kind of companionship, support and love. Not that I think I'm not worthwhile, but rather there are things about myself I need to work on.

 

[The Albatross]

Sonic you aren't shallow... you have an ideal. Likely hard for another woman to measure up.

 

[The Albatross]

P.S. I think healing takes time and work... but from a former love/lover... mostly time.