Poll Do Your Family and Friends Support You?

[waynes]

Jim,
I'm so glad that Evie has you in her life. You sir, are one of the factors that will allow her to heal. I really respect the way that your family has rallied around her! Stay safe for she will have need of you. I can see that due to your also being in the service of our country and caring as you do, you will be an offset to what has happened to her. It will be a slow process but Evies' healing will happen.

Wayne

 

[Jim]

Thank you. Sincerely hope you are correct about Evie. I do worry greatly. I wish you the same for your wife, who is indeed fortunate to have you as well!

Jim.

 

[ClancyBoy]

How can they support me if they're the perpetrators?

 

[batgirl]

Well that's the point of the poll Clancy. If your family are the perpetrators then you would vote no.

 

[kers]

I chose "somewhat" because my immediate family is unaware of the PTSD--it was caused by growing up in their house. I've told two friends, one who lives far away and one who lives nearby. The far away one didn't talk to me for several months and was quite brusque so I've stopped bringing it up at all. The nearby friend has been wonderful and I'm working hard to be honest about what's going on with me.

I'm trying to be more honest in general without necessarily going into a big PTSD spiel. For example, if I'm feeling delicate, I'll decline to go out and say I'm not up to it. Or I'll leave when people argue and say I don't want to be around it right then. Everybody doesn't need to know the whole sordid story, but I'm trying to lie less so I feel less ashamed.

 

[Deleted member 487]

No, because they really don't beleivve it's happening. They have this idea that I can just "get over it". Yeah. Right. And they don't have a Traumatic Brain Injury to deal with either.

 

[hayls]

No. Whether it's because I'm afraid they won't understand or afraid they won't want to help anyway...I just don't allow them to.

 

[Shinigami_Shimai]

I'm not sure... my immediate family and the like, as in my father and mothers families, do not want to hear of it and pretty much disowned me. The two aunts that were supportive I lost trust for when one of them tricked me into coming over to her house for dinner while my mother was there, and I'm not supposed to see my mother anymore. She was trying to get the two of us together on good terms again and that will never happen considering that woman constantly hit and yelled at me for years on end and then dropped me at a hospital when she had enough of me. My other aunt, my father's sister, started to try to get me and my father together and I walked away from her, not wanting anything to do with anyone who did not understand that I can not be around my parents any longer.

The reason I say I'm not sure is because of my new in-laws. Kim's mother is very supportive and even read my novel about my past. She was rather pissed off after reading it, but keeps telling me how much she loves me and wants to be there for me. Her one sister is rather nice as well and her father... well he is a question considering he doesn't talk much and I did take his little girl away to Canada with me, but he did give me a hug and even kissed my cheek... All in all they seem supportive... I don't know what they would do if they saw me break down in front of them though...

Jaa ne

Kat

 

[Lisa]

It appears I've already voted in this poll! However, I would expect that I said no, as my friends and family do not even understand me, let alone support me. I only have one supportive friend... though I am grateful for that at least, as some have no one.

 

[brainless_twit]

My family members try to support me, but they really don't understand PTSD and how it affects me. Some of them have asked, "When you have a flashback, why don't you just tell yourself to stop thinking about it?" As if that would make any difference; as if I haven't tried! When I told my mom that the suicidal thoughts have never really gone away in ten years, she said, "I hope you realize that I can't take anything else right now. I would just never get over something like that." I know she was saying that she cared, but to me it was all about her! I have ideation without intent, but if I DID plan to commit suicide, I wouldn't be in a position to think about others, and she just doesn't get that. Just once, I wish someone would say, "I'm sorry you feel hopeless right now." No advice, no trying to fix it, just feeling for what I'm going through.

My husband has gotten really good at noticing when I'm dissociating and bringing me back to reality. He has also learned that when I'm upset, I need him to stay with me instead of giving me space. He doesn't understand it either, but he tries very hard to.

I wish I could talk more to my friends about what's going on. They get freaked out and uncomfortable when I even mention PTSD, like they don't really believe that's what's going on. I think people don't realize that you can have PTSD without surviving war or a natural disaster. It's all about how traumatic a situation is FOR YOU, and not everyone would be traumatized by the same things. Also, I believe that once you've experienced something traumatic, you're more likely to be traumatized by future events that may not have been traumatic otherwise. I wish there was a handout or article specifically for skeptics.

 

[2quilt]

support

Husband supports if I tell him what I want, when I want it, how I want it from him. My trauma is so alien to him that I really have to explain it to him in simple terms; he did not grow up the way I did and his military experience was wonderful. Mine was full of sexual harassment, sexual trauma, war, more PTSD and bad memories. Life now with him is safe and healing. He is supportive, bless his heart, but he's not the mind reader I wish he were.

 

[hodge]

I voted "somewhat," because my husband really tries. My mom was an abuser, so she's out. My brother suffered, too and hasn't gotten to where I am, so he's out. My dad's come around to have a relationship with me, but I don't think he really gets it. I have my husband, my oldest girlfriend in the world, another couple of good friends here, my psychologist, my retired therapist, and this forum. And I'm very grateful for all. Though I do wish I could have more support from my family. I guess if that could happen, I wouldn't be here to begin with, blah.