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Does Anyone Else Have A Hard Time Shopping For Clothes?
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illusionist
Diamond Member
I am going on a very special holiday in three months time and been forced to do something regarding buying clothes....the thought of shopping and spending money on myself was daunting, as well as finding stuff out of my comfort zone. I decided to have a look on ebay and been pleasantly surprised.....I have found good quality stuff for a few pounds and can afford to make mistakes if an item only costs a couple of pounds...I can always sell it on if I find it's not me.
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Sammyiam
Platinum Member
I don't like buying clothes either :(
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EveHarrington
VIP Member
I think I can identify...I mean I have other behaviors which keep me "hidden" in public. I know what draws attention and I know how to avoid attention.
katz
Platinum Member
I have a problem getting rid of clothes! Maybe we should get together? LOL
I try to avoid any shopping. I have a terrible letting go of things. I'm always thinking that "some day I'll wear that". I really have to force myself to let go of anything. Where some woman have shoes--I have purses.
I tell myself that if I bring something home, I have to get rid of two other things.
Maybe you should pick one thing, a shirt, or a pair of pants--or even socks. Then go to the store and get them, when you get home, get rid of the old ones. As soon as you get home. Force yourself to let them go. Just remind yourself that you have a pair to replace them. Don't think of them as a "new" pair--just as a "replacement" for the other ones. I think that you might have an easier time accepting them as a replacement, instead of a "new" thing that you think you don't deserve.
Another thing that I do for myself is to pack a box for donation, put a date on it, and when that date comes--donate it without opening it. I tell myself that if I have not missed it by now, then I don't need it.
I wonder if you put something into a box marked "dispose of" and seal it with tape. This will make you "need" things and find the courage to go get one. But, don't open the box. This way if you are short of socks, you will have to go get some. Then maybe you won't have as much problem getting rid of that "box" of stuff.
I try to avoid any shopping. I have a terrible letting go of things. I'm always thinking that "some day I'll wear that". I really have to force myself to let go of anything. Where some woman have shoes--I have purses.
I tell myself that if I bring something home, I have to get rid of two other things.
Maybe you should pick one thing, a shirt, or a pair of pants--or even socks. Then go to the store and get them, when you get home, get rid of the old ones. As soon as you get home. Force yourself to let them go. Just remind yourself that you have a pair to replace them. Don't think of them as a "new" pair--just as a "replacement" for the other ones. I think that you might have an easier time accepting them as a replacement, instead of a "new" thing that you think you don't deserve.
Another thing that I do for myself is to pack a box for donation, put a date on it, and when that date comes--donate it without opening it. I tell myself that if I have not missed it by now, then I don't need it.
I wonder if you put something into a box marked "dispose of" and seal it with tape. This will make you "need" things and find the courage to go get one. But, don't open the box. This way if you are short of socks, you will have to go get some. Then maybe you won't have as much problem getting rid of that "box" of stuff.
I thought I was the only one, lol. My mum would always shop at childrens' consignment shops with me and make me try on stuff for hours on end in the front of the store, along with buying the wrong sizes and getting one hell of an ugly haircut. Like, butt naked in front of the store trying on clothes for two hours, being yelled at for asking to go in the changing room instead, and only buying one item. I think I wore a pair of pajama pants from age three to seven at one point! They quickly turned into capris, but they were my favorite item of all time as a kid. :laugh: I come from an upper-middle class family, but my abuser spent so much money on booze and things for herself that she basically tricked me into thinking we were poor. I'd always be so friggin' confused and thankful at the same time whenever my dad would buy something nice for me! Did I mention I also got a subtraction book from Goodwill as my very last Christmas present from Santa? There was even little slidey things, and Santa didn't scratch off the $0.50 pricetag either.
I have trouble with buying just about anything, honestly. I even went without a bed frame for three years (post-abuser's death, btw) because I felt so much guilt over the idea of even buying one. I practice the "If it's yellow then it's mellow, if it's brown then it flushes down" rule to save money. It's kind of beneficial in a way, though. Most of my hobbies are expensive (think loose leaf tea and collecting modern furniture), so I write to companies for free stuff. I've received over $1500 worth of stuff in the past year, and I'd say it works pretty well!
I went without buying clothes for about three years, but I've been trying to find new clothes ever since I went from a size 10/12 to a 00/000. I blew $65 on a dress from Etsy recently, so that's a success. I know that it's not even that much. Oh, and a $60 taxidermed squirrel. You know, for nature and stuff. :p
I have trouble with buying just about anything, honestly. I even went without a bed frame for three years (post-abuser's death, btw) because I felt so much guilt over the idea of even buying one. I practice the "If it's yellow then it's mellow, if it's brown then it flushes down" rule to save money. It's kind of beneficial in a way, though. Most of my hobbies are expensive (think loose leaf tea and collecting modern furniture), so I write to companies for free stuff. I've received over $1500 worth of stuff in the past year, and I'd say it works pretty well!
I went without buying clothes for about three years, but I've been trying to find new clothes ever since I went from a size 10/12 to a 00/000. I blew $65 on a dress from Etsy recently, so that's a success. I know that it's not even that much. Oh, and a $60 taxidermed squirrel. You know, for nature and stuff. :p
Yes! I have a problem buying clothes, as I've lost so much weight, that I'm now a 28" waste, but still need a 32" inside leg!
Of course you don't get sizes like that, so I end up buying 32" waste and 32" inside leg, and they are always baggy round my waste?
I even have to buy "boy size" underwear, as even the Small size in the adult size, is too big for me?
I now weigh 8 stone three pounds, don't ask me what is in metric, as I'm still using "Feet and Inches!" Lol
Of course you don't get sizes like that, so I end up buying 32" waste and 32" inside leg, and they are always baggy round my waste?
I even have to buy "boy size" underwear, as even the Small size in the adult size, is too big for me?
I now weigh 8 stone three pounds, don't ask me what is in metric, as I'm still using "Feet and Inches!" Lol
D
Deleted member 12723
I get so overwhelmed clothes shopping in a store. I get very exhausted as well and frustrated. For so many years of my life I just never bought clothes. then I discovered Amazon and I feel good about buying clothes this way and now I have a complete summer and winter wardrobe including coats.
My mom never took me clothes shopping, she picked the ugliest clothes for me, and I hated them. When I was a teenager and she began to share clothes with me I would alter them which made her very angry. I did learn to sew and in high school I was sewing my own clothes that I liked.
Yes I can relate to this.
My mom never took me clothes shopping, she picked the ugliest clothes for me, and I hated them. When I was a teenager and she began to share clothes with me I would alter them which made her very angry. I did learn to sew and in high school I was sewing my own clothes that I liked.
Yes I can relate to this.
Panda Bear
Platinum Member
It's often difficult for us to find value in ourselves, worth, that we are deserving of anything. From clothing, to love and kidness. We overly identity with what our abusers bred into us, down to every minute detail.
I've found that personal care and change has come slowly, small and over a long period of time. Start small and and just know that you are worth it!
I've found that personal care and change has come slowly, small and over a long period of time. Start small and and just know that you are worth it!
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