Does Existing Ptsd Affect New Traumas...?

[Bosco2153]

We had to make the decision to say goodbye to our lovely dog Lucky Bug yesterday. She had advanced cancer. We were present when she went to sleep forever. I feel tremendous guilt and keep reliving the process over and over. It's been 2 days. I'm worried that this new experience will add itself to my PTSD and magnify it. How do I know what's normal to go through and what's not? I have had PTSD my entire life...what SHOULD I be feeling over this loss and how should I deal with it in order to let it go? :unsure:

 

[Lucycat]

Grief has no timeline to follow. Everybody recovers from a bereavement at their own rate, whether it be human or pet, whether it is anticipated or not, we are all different.

Having said that, I recall asking my T, when I was newly diagnosed with CPTSD whether any future traumas would be 'different' for me because of the diagnosis. He said that there is no way of knowing. Some people react harder to future traumas and some are able to deal with them with normal processing.

Don't be hard on yourself. The loss of your beloved pet is still very new and raw. I certainly don't think you should be 'over it' by now. I have a friend without PTSD who was still grieving badly a year after the sudden death of her cat. Whereas when my cat passed away - some 6 years ago now, I felt better after a week or two.

Allow yourself to grieve, don't feel guilty, and keep all those happy memories of Lucky Bug alive.

 

[arfie]

So sorry for your loss. That decision has haunted me with every pet I have faced it with. I am going through it now with a beloved old dog who came to me as a young adult 15 or so years ago. Not easy!

I know I carry my old PTSD habits into every new trauma. I beat myself up in all the same old places and obsess about it in the same circular fashion that never worked before. The good news is that my PTSD coping tools seem to be even more effective on fresh trauma.

Hope you find your closure, deedlerock.

 

[Cherry25]

I'm sorry for your loss, and believe me that I know the grief when you lose a pet. I had to cancel my summer college courses when I lost my dog of 15 years. They're members of our families, and as Lucycat said, there is no limited timeline for grief, for people or pets. Some people don't understand, I know.

Regarding your PTSD, it depends whether your loss is related to the issue or not. Grief hits everyone at some time, regardless of other psychic issues.

I hope you get through your grief to acceptance, which I know isn't easy.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Deedlerock, family and Lucky Bug))).

The loss of a much loved furry family member is awful. I admire you for staying with Lucky Bug, I know it is hard because we stayed with our old boy Marco when it was his time. It is absolutely 100% normal to grieve so allow yourself time.

how should I deal with it in order to let it go?

We had Marco cremated and buried his urn in a garden pot. We planted bulbs which flower in the month he died (Sept). His pot is on our patio and I still talk to him. It helps to think he is still with us.

what SHOULD I be feeling over this loss

We are all different and in my opinion there is no 'right' way to feel. What you are feeling is right for you.

 

[Orglethorp]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've also dealt with the loss of a pet in this way, more than once. The dog we lost when I was 19 was just 6 years old, but she had fairly advanced cancer, and the most humane thing we could do was to euthanize her. I don't think I had cried so hard, for so long, in years before that day, and probably not since either. I grieved for her for a long time, but the grieving process did end, just like it should in time, and I wouldn't say it changed my PTSD at all. The next 2 pets we lost were easier to handle, despite being sudden (19 year old kitten, young right to the end) and too young (9 year old dog with a misdiagnosed illness).

I think the loss of my dog when I was 19 was so particularly hard because I wasn't functioning well myself at the time, nor did I have very good coping skills for PTSD yet. I'd only just been diagnosed about 5 months earlier at that point (despite probably having PTSD all my life) and everything was getting to me. Waiting longer than expected for a bus would spoil my day at that time. Dealing with life's disappointments and sad events is difficult when we're dealing with PTSD, but those things don't usually change our PTSD.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Hi,

I just did the exact same thing a couple Saturdays ago. I understand your pain. I posted about it here as well.

It has magnified my PTSD a bit, but also more because I was judging myself with a yard stick for how I should feel and for how long. The stress of the whole ordeal on that day and the months leading up...she had cancer as well....magnified the PTSD.

I had a lot of other things going on too so my PTSD cup over flowed.

The best advice I can give is feel. Letting yourself go to feel does not mean you will get stuck there forever. It just means that having PTSD, we must not condemn ourselves for a very normal process of grief.

I know you miss her. I felt guilt for about 3 or 4 days. It was important that my hubby and I not try to be strong for one another but to just let each other feel and not feel bad about relating or crying together....usually one of us tries to be strong for the other. I could not look at her picture for about a week. I have heard her in the house 3 times since. I also am still making associations with her after 2 weeks. Meaning, every time I wake up, I think she is going to be in the other room and it is a shock.

Also, when I am walking in areas where my brain associates memories of her, the same thing happens. The associations do not lessen over time, but the pain does. The agony was strongest in the first week for me.

The 3rd day, it helped me and soothed me tremendously to watch the documentary called Animal Odd Couples. I went for it, all of it and allowed my emotions to come out. Hubby and I were even a little moody with each other a couple days in a row this past weekend.

2 days ago, I typed out some memories of her as if I were talking to her. Things about how much I miss her, how I wish she were here to sniff my tears, etc. I bawled and did not judge myself. Also, reaching out and talking about it here and Facebook and not worrying about what I said or how I was expressing my feelings in the moment helped a lot.

Let yourself feel. The purpose of it is not to just get over her, but to honor the things she taught us about love, life, purpose, creation and simplicity. It will get easier. There are no rules or timeframe for this process, nadda, regardless of what anyone tells you. Even me.

Hugs and love and tears for you and your Lucky Bug. I am so sorry for your loss!!!