Does He Use His Issues As Excuses ?

[bell]

He sounds always busy work 8 to 22,6 days a week(I know he is lying)

That would be a dealbreaker for me.

I know it hurts A TON, but he is giving every sign to you that he cannot be in a relationship right now. Therefore, it might be best for you to summon all the energy you have and work towards moving on. He may come back when he's fixed up, but that may be years from now. And, in the present, even though you both really care for each other, you're not on the same page, which means you need to do what is best for you, not him, because right now, his PTSD is taking precedence, and he needs to focus on that, not a relationship.

 

[christy_than]

That would be a dealbreaker for me.

I know it hurts A TON, but he is giving every sign to you that he cannot be in a relationship right now. .

Yes, I figured his signs out, he told me often enough that I need to find other man who is more suitable for me, that we shall break up, he cant give me time that I need. I always confront him directly. I asked him 18millionth of times to break up.But everytime when we meet and I said ' lets break up ' he wont response it.
Last time when we met, he asked me to tickle his back and he whispered ' Please stay '. but he didnt even want to stay overnight with me !! ARGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I wish I could explain how it feels, those moments have been tearing me apart.

 

[BlueOrange]

Leaving aside his reasons and your reasons, your description of the relationship makes it sound unhealthy. I'm convinced that trying to keep this relationship alive is poisonous for you.

If the only way you can keep a relationship alive is by making threats (you used the word 'threaten') and by flooding the other person with attention, then it's better for both of you to let it end.

 

[nursenurse]

He has told you what he wants, what he thinks. Take him at face value. If he says his feelings have changed, that he does not want to be in a relationship, then he has been honest and the words coincide now with his actions. Believe him. Gather your dignity and move on, otherwise you will seem like an obsessed puppy dog. That is not healthy for either of you.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I asked him 18millionth of times to break up.But everytime when we meet and I said ' lets break up ' he wont response it.

I wouldn't ask him if he wanted to break up, I'd just break up with him. Honestly, would you put up with this crap from somebody without PTSD?

 

[christy_than]

Thank you very much for all your advices guys

To be honest I do not what to do yet.
yea @nursenurse , I am working on it to gather all my strength and move on, I am not sure if it's what he is really want or no. cause he pushed me away before, but it wasnt what he wanted to. ( this concern me alot)

I wouldn't ask him if he wanted to break up, I'd just break up with him. Honestly, would you put up with this crap from somebody without PTSD?

That is what I am going to do if in a week I hear nothing from him..

 

[TonyG]

Putting My 2 cents in as a Man, I worked away from home months at a time and at times rarely rang, Birthdays hrmmm I don't even remember my own, We have been married 24 years and my wife has had every reason over the years to leave but never has, PTSD is part of my problem but not to blame for everything, You need to do what is right for you and only you know that. Just don't put conditions on him or time limit because that never works on me I guarantee that will make him do the opposite, I walk my own road and I'm not predictable,

 

[christy_than]

@TonyG, Thanks for your reply.

I would like to stay , support him in every edge of his life, but he is the one who is pushing me away. you are married but we are only in a relationship, I think it makes it a little different ?

You need to do what is right for you and only you know that. Just don't put conditions on him or time limit because that never works on me I guarantee that will make him do the opposite

You are right on this case,, thank you so much and I'll try to do that :)