While I was in the military for a brief time (honorable discharge for failure to adapt from the Army in 04) my PTSD doesn't have anything to do with it.
I have Aspergers and Anxiety problems and have Mental Health problems in high stress situations. While living on the streets for a time I went to a shrink who gave a inaccurate diagnosis and prescriptions for antipsychotic pills. After the first night on Risperdal I went to the main offices for the office cleaning operation that Goodwill had running and quit my job. I then went to the psychiatrist at the agency who gave me the meds and told him that I had heard constant voices telling me to commit suicide. His response was to tell me to give it more time and increased the dosage from point five to one miligram. This continued for several weeks with the agency telling me to stop calling the hotline because it made them look bad, until I told the psychiatrist to take me off of it permanently or I would on my own.
I got into my own apartment after getting on disability and changed offices and had more control of the meds but my mom had told me to stop taking the meds and after a few months I told them that I wanted to be taken off of all medications at which time they sent me to the state hospital and I found myself sentenced to court ordered treatment for thirteen months and after a month I went home and had to go through getting injected with Haldol D every two weeks which was so bad that I had to cut to quiet the voices.
After 6 months of court ordered treatment I told the psychiatrist that I had enough with the meds and was told that it would be no more then 6 months when I talked to an advocate before appearing before a judge. They took me to one of the main 23 hour clinics and told me that I would either get the injection willingly or forced. They spent half an hour to getting me onto that bed. I did not cause any harm to them other then the guy I bit but he deserved it, when he put me in a choke hold while being held down and when he asked if I would submit I responded with a f u before passing out.
Came to face down in a pillow and felt the needle go into my rear and after chasing them out when they wanted to get me out of that room a young lady whose name I don't remember and if you are here please message been wanting to talk again to fill in some blanks, came in and after a couple hours of talking she had talked me out of a very serious plan to write down what happened and down all the meds they had wanted me to take with a swig of moonshine. She saved my life that day and talked me into going through with the treatment and most importantly not to give up.
A few years later while living in another state I went to a neighboring state for a conference on seclusion and restraint which when it met with a couple difficult roommates sent me into a mental breakdown and started smoking a lot of spice which was legal and easy to get.
Spent about a year in that state and when I heard Eminems "Not Afraid" it started to help pull me out and when I had someone say something I found offensive while the person was heavily intoxicated I gave it a lot of thought and have decided that I needed to start doing better, I am physically active and practice for Special Olympics swimming competition starts next month.
Wanted to tell all of you this to take my PTSD by the horns and own it. Never give up hope. For all of my GLBT brothers and sisters remember that things are getting better. There will come a day when kids would not have to be afraid to be out of the closet and marriage will be marriage.
For those who deal with a disability remember that you are the only ones who could determine what you could do. If you have a goal go for it, when they laugh at you and say its impossible remember that you will get the last laugh.
For those who are seeing the ugly side of the mental health system remember to collect evidence and in the US every state has a disability law center in the capitol that handles all types of law for those with disabilities. Other then that the best advice I could give is to speak up, tell your shrink or therapist when there are problems, if you don't trust yours fight to get a different one that you do.
For all you crazies and oddballs that are so like me and my friends I say find someone you could talk to when needed and try to get some exercise when you need some fresh air it helps. In short remember that most problems if you confront them and when you are able to reach out for help you already won a big victory.
I have Aspergers and Anxiety problems and have Mental Health problems in high stress situations. While living on the streets for a time I went to a shrink who gave a inaccurate diagnosis and prescriptions for antipsychotic pills. After the first night on Risperdal I went to the main offices for the office cleaning operation that Goodwill had running and quit my job. I then went to the psychiatrist at the agency who gave me the meds and told him that I had heard constant voices telling me to commit suicide. His response was to tell me to give it more time and increased the dosage from point five to one miligram. This continued for several weeks with the agency telling me to stop calling the hotline because it made them look bad, until I told the psychiatrist to take me off of it permanently or I would on my own.
I got into my own apartment after getting on disability and changed offices and had more control of the meds but my mom had told me to stop taking the meds and after a few months I told them that I wanted to be taken off of all medications at which time they sent me to the state hospital and I found myself sentenced to court ordered treatment for thirteen months and after a month I went home and had to go through getting injected with Haldol D every two weeks which was so bad that I had to cut to quiet the voices.
After 6 months of court ordered treatment I told the psychiatrist that I had enough with the meds and was told that it would be no more then 6 months when I talked to an advocate before appearing before a judge. They took me to one of the main 23 hour clinics and told me that I would either get the injection willingly or forced. They spent half an hour to getting me onto that bed. I did not cause any harm to them other then the guy I bit but he deserved it, when he put me in a choke hold while being held down and when he asked if I would submit I responded with a f u before passing out.
Came to face down in a pillow and felt the needle go into my rear and after chasing them out when they wanted to get me out of that room a young lady whose name I don't remember and if you are here please message been wanting to talk again to fill in some blanks, came in and after a couple hours of talking she had talked me out of a very serious plan to write down what happened and down all the meds they had wanted me to take with a swig of moonshine. She saved my life that day and talked me into going through with the treatment and most importantly not to give up.
A few years later while living in another state I went to a neighboring state for a conference on seclusion and restraint which when it met with a couple difficult roommates sent me into a mental breakdown and started smoking a lot of spice which was legal and easy to get.
Spent about a year in that state and when I heard Eminems "Not Afraid" it started to help pull me out and when I had someone say something I found offensive while the person was heavily intoxicated I gave it a lot of thought and have decided that I needed to start doing better, I am physically active and practice for Special Olympics swimming competition starts next month.
Wanted to tell all of you this to take my PTSD by the horns and own it. Never give up hope. For all of my GLBT brothers and sisters remember that things are getting better. There will come a day when kids would not have to be afraid to be out of the closet and marriage will be marriage.
For those who deal with a disability remember that you are the only ones who could determine what you could do. If you have a goal go for it, when they laugh at you and say its impossible remember that you will get the last laugh.
For those who are seeing the ugly side of the mental health system remember to collect evidence and in the US every state has a disability law center in the capitol that handles all types of law for those with disabilities. Other then that the best advice I could give is to speak up, tell your shrink or therapist when there are problems, if you don't trust yours fight to get a different one that you do.
For all you crazies and oddballs that are so like me and my friends I say find someone you could talk to when needed and try to get some exercise when you need some fresh air it helps. In short remember that most problems if you confront them and when you are able to reach out for help you already won a big victory.
