This was a reply to, but didn't want to take away from fellow members question...
Why Do I Always Feel Like Something Bad Is About To Happen?
Fayth replied...
I've been thinking about what you said I feel like I'm being judged --- did something wrong, all to often. Rationally I know I didn't, but I feel that way. I avoid basic things like picking up packages during daytime from apartment leasing office - afraid they will judge me. Or don't get them for days...weeks lately. I wait until after they're close, and security gets them for me --- except yesterday I went midday! (proud of myself - first time in several months)
But your post about doing something wrong. We'll with my youth everything I did was wrong to my father. Rationally I know most parents would have been very happy for such a responsible and caring son. Yet with my father there was ""always"" a reason to find a problem and "judge" me. Simple example - I could clean and dry dishes (brother didn't even clean them completely) - who got yelled at and highly criticized? Me. Always Always me..
Dishes you ask? Trivial and just an example. I spent my youth in daily fear of finding family dead from father. Daily I expected several police cars at my home returning home from school with family dead. I went to bed expecting to wake-up dead or find family dead.
When a young teenager I confronted my mom about why my father "hated" me so much. She was very honest, and told me it's not my fault, and it's been that way since day I was born. That father was a seriously jealously man, and he couldn't stand the attention switched from him to me. She didn't understand it.
Why Do I Always Feel Like Something Bad Is About To Happen?
Fayth replied...
I've been thinking about what you said I feel like I'm being judged --- did something wrong, all to often. Rationally I know I didn't, but I feel that way. I avoid basic things like picking up packages during daytime from apartment leasing office - afraid they will judge me. Or don't get them for days...weeks lately. I wait until after they're close, and security gets them for me --- except yesterday I went midday! (proud of myself - first time in several months)
But your post about doing something wrong. We'll with my youth everything I did was wrong to my father. Rationally I know most parents would have been very happy for such a responsible and caring son. Yet with my father there was ""always"" a reason to find a problem and "judge" me. Simple example - I could clean and dry dishes (brother didn't even clean them completely) - who got yelled at and highly criticized? Me. Always Always me..
Dishes you ask? Trivial and just an example. I spent my youth in daily fear of finding family dead from father. Daily I expected several police cars at my home returning home from school with family dead. I went to bed expecting to wake-up dead or find family dead.
When a young teenager I confronted my mom about why my father "hated" me so much. She was very honest, and told me it's not my fault, and it's been that way since day I was born. That father was a seriously jealously man, and he couldn't stand the attention switched from him to me. She didn't understand it.
