Dreading Work - Keeps getting worse

[abbynormal1929]

Hi everyone.

I'm having so much trouble with work. I'm a nurse assistant. Every day I dread going there. It's never mattered what job I was doing. It always gets more difficult the longer I've been there, never easier. I even arranged my schedule to use my days off for specific self care activities like a mood disorder support group on Fridays, and it's still not easier. I don't know what else there is to do to help. I just need to rest, but even when I get to it seems like I never get to. Got kids too. I just don't know . Theres not even any specific thing I can target that makes it difficult, I just dread everything about it. I don't know what to do any more. I have a therapist that I've been working on stuff like this with, but nothing seems to help. Comment I'd you like.

Abby

 

[bellbird]

Is changing jobs an option? Because it seems like it would be the best thing for you right now.

That, and/or are you eligible for some form of disability benefit?

I understand what it's like completely dreading a job. It's so stressful. I hope we can help to come up with some steps to make your situation better. :hug:

 

[Deanna]

I get what it's like dreading a job. Maybe you're just-not, cut-out for that kind of work. I'd start putting out my resumes to different companies. Be an assistant to a buyer, a CPA, a even a real estate agent... Then become a real estate agent. ( all examples) There's a lot of options

 

[Friday]

Theres not even any specific thing I can target that makes it difficult, I just dread everything about it.

As it sounds like you’ve got the stress stuff covered...

1. Do you think it’s the kind of work itself, or the specific place you work? Both (all 3 technically, including stress cup) can cause that generalized “This sucks! I hate it! I don’t wanna go!” dread & exhaustion.

2. Option D... (If not stress, the job, or the place)... You didn’t mention it in this thread, so I hope it isn’t pulling things off focus, but you’ve mentioned before that your spouse has given you hell over working. Are they still? Because even if you loved the job AND loved the place you work? Someone being resoundingly negative, or punishing you, or even flat out sabotaging you for doing anything? Can also create the dread+exhaustion. Because dealing with them is so freaking exhausting to start with, and then it’s waiting for the other shoe to drop even when they aren’t being a bitch/ punishing/ passive aggressive/ sabotaging/ etc. I was both married to someone like that, who got his way by making every other way miserable; and have (lovely!) parents who drove me absolutely crazy / aren’t “trying” to make any way that’s not their way miserable, but the end result is the same. <<< Both of those things, regardless of whether it’s with good intent (like my folks) or malicious as f*ck (like my ex) wear on a person. Like water carving out the Grand Canyon. It’s not any one thing. In fact, most of the time? No one thing may even be particularly noticeable. It’s the collection of them. Over time.

3. Option A... Just wanting to revisit the stress thing, because this is PTSD, we circle back around to things ;) ... You mentioned self care on your day off, but how’s the daily self care? Both managing stress before it’s an issue and as things come up, as well as the basics of eating/sleeping/exercising & a good balance of work/family/social/solo. Ditto : Are you doing anything fun? Either daily (preferred!) or weekly?

 

[DharmaGirl]

You have a really hard job, first off. Maybe you need a little time off to get some rest and time to work on yourself. I was an RN in a hospital and found I could no longer work.

 

[abbynormal1929]

I don't know really. Truthfully I'd love a nice boring office job, or to teach music. I can't work during the day Now cause I have an almost 2year old at home, and we don't have enough money for sitters so we work opposite shifts. Working evenings doesn't leave me with as many options as I like. As for my wife, right now that's a whole other story that I'll post about in the relationship section. I feel like I don't know how to work on myself anymore, regardless of how much time I have. I always feel like everyone hates me, and I'm doing the wrong thing with my son, and at work. I feel guilty for having me time. I'm going to Florida for a week in January to visit a friend, I've never been away from my son for that long, and I'm worried he won't remember me, or at least will be upset that I'm not there . I'm getting a nice self-care vacation, and I'm worried I won't be able to enjoy it. I've always had thoughts that everyone hates me, or is mad at me, but not this bad in years. And my social anxiety is the worst it's been in years. As usual I just don't know.

 

[DharmaGirl]

He won't forget you. Call him while you're gone so you can hear his voice. Having a young child is a huge stress! Especially if people are nit picking what you do. Can you take music students in the evening?

 

[Deanna]

I don't know really. Truthfully I'd love a nice boring office job, or to teach music. I can't work during the day Now cause I have an almost 2year old at home, and we don't have enough money for sitters so we work opposite shifts. Working evenings doesn't leave me with as many options as I like. As for my wife, right now that's a whole other story that I'll post about in the relationship section. I feel like I don't know how to work on myself anymore, regardless of how much time I have. I always feel like everyone hates me, and I'm doing the wrong thing with my son, and at work. I feel guilty for having me time. I'm going to Florida for a week in January to visit a friend, I've never been away from my son for that long, and I'm worried he won't remember me, or at least will be upset that I'm not there . I'm getting a nice self-care vacation, and I'm worried I won't be able to enjoy it. I've always had thoughts that everyone hates me, or is mad at me, but not this bad in years. And my social anxiety is the worst it's been in years. As usual I just don't know.

I'm so sorry you feel that way. You seem like you're a likeable person. I've read some of your relationship thread and it seems your son is what keeps you grounded. Try to have a nice time in January, because you deserve it! Everyone has good times, so should you! :happy: