Drunk Again...

[Rumors]

Chava, you don't have to wait until you are almost dead or in crisis to ask for help. I hurt for you and hope you can feel some of the support coming your way from here. I am sorry you are hurting that much. I hope you are ok.

 

[Neverthesame]

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[The Albatross]

Perhaps Chava it's time too consider a treatment facility for co treatment? Personally I'd find that preferable by far to ER's.

 

[ms spock]

I wanna call ER. I WANT AMBULENCE AND ER. How f*cked up is that, huh? Yeah?

Not at all - it is an adaptation you made a long the way that you see/saw as a way of getting your needs met, for getting some support, to get some love and care. Think about what happened to make you like that and it is a deep compassion that needs to be felt for your self at this time. That is how you know/learnt to get your needs met. Optimal? Of course not. Understandable from a Complex/Developmental Trauma position? Absolutely. I am so emotionally dysregulated and emotionally unstable. Do I do disordered things to try and get my needs met? All the time! Of course I do. Embarrassing as it is to admit it. Is it understandable - by most people without our inner critics/internalised abusers. Yes. People get it once they understand trauma and child developmental process. It makes them very sad.

But the will to preserve me a bit past death is here and that is useful to myself and others sometimes. NOT suicidal....just don't trust myself to not wreck my existence. f*ck.

So glad that the will to preserve is still there. Brave you to keep on keeping on, despite the pain. I am living that life, and it takes guts and courage to keep going, to put one foot in front of the other. I am busting my guts and trying really hard. Does it look much better on the outside to the inside? Not so much really. But we are giving it a go. That actually does matter. Falling over as your learn to walk - well that happens - most people do that stuff as a little person. For the rest of us it is much later for us. Barbara Holborrow(sp?) magistrate says if you miss that love and care in the first five years it takes 27 years to catch up. So it takes time.

 

[Chava]

Thanks everyone. I did go to ER. I was so junk and simultaneously amped up on nicotine that I was never going to just pass out, but start adding sleeping pills to my alcohol. I blacked out somewhere around the time they picked me up. But it was horrible. They cut off all my clothes and underwear.

I'm upping my act and changing some plans. Might not be on here much but will hopefully check in on weekends. Thanks again for the care and support!

 

[Neverthesame]

Glad to hear you made it to hospital safely.

Also glad they found you, you must have been in rough shape if they needed to cut off your clothes.

I never know what to say when it comes to things like this, but I am definitely in the boat of people who care. Please do keep us informed when you can.

Again, good to hear you made it through the night. Keeping you in my thoughts, take care.

 

[seedling]

Glad you are safe and that you made the call for help.
Hang in and let us know how you are doing.

 

[Rumors]

Wishing you the best, Chava and sending you loads of strength. You deserve to find some peace and happiness.

 

[PreciousChild]

I just wanted to express my support. I've really appreciated your replies in my threads, Chava. I'm sorry that I don't have much advice to give in return. It sounds like you need to focus on yourself right now. I hope you get what you need. I will be thinking of you as you struggle with this latest challenge.