Early Incest - Ptsd, And Lifelong Shame?

[James B.]

I am so sick of suffering for what others did to me...

 

[NIKI]

I know James, me too.:(

 

[NIKI]

I'm trying so hard to think of them as awful, awful memories. And move on with my future. (MY FUTURE WHATEVER I WANT IT TO BE) Nobody holding me back!

 

[Anna]

Me as well. Sometimes life seems so cruel unfair and it is always the innocent that suffer.

 

[Lucycat]

The shame does not have to be lifelong.

A month ago I had an EMDR session specifically to look at shame. I identified a target memory, and during the session I had to look my T in the eye. It was incredibly difficult. I had already tried to do it on a previous session, but just couldn't. On this occasion though, I eventually managed to look into his eyes, while I had the auditory tones and thinking about the target memory. When I finally managed it , it was a very powerful moment. It had fantastic results and I was immediately uplifted.

My good mood lasted for nearly 5 weeks before I had a little 'blip' that knocked me back for a day or two. But I am still feeling far better than I did before. This is my longest 'good' period for.... well, ever!

Shame is toxic. Clearing it is really liberating.

 

[Ahimsa]

So how are people working through their toxic shame? I spent four months in treatment for addiction to alcohol and drugs, one of the many things I have held onto from that experience was in regards to shame:
"(Toxic) shame thrives in the absence of intimacy" - meaning thrives in secrecy, isolation. The pain of shame is feeling utterly alone. It is huge obstacle for me and shaped my life. I am talking about it, etc.

 

[James B.]

Big hug to everyone.

 

[James B.]

Damn it...it is so hard sometimes...

 

[Emilie]

Same exact story here. I'm sorry to hear your on the same boat.

The best advice I think I can give you is to expect nothing from anyone- nothing could ever make up for the horrible things that happen in life. Take what you like and leave the rest. Then properly mourn the fact that nothing in life is certain. If you can do that, let me know how you did it =) Don't worry, there's light on the other side. It's a long journey but one day we'll all get there and cure our PTSD

 

[James B.]

I don't know what it's like with out it, so I don't really know how bad it is.

The best advice I think I can give you is to expect nothing from anyone-

I'll buy that...

 

[Lionheart]

James, I can totally relate to suffering due to what others have done. I have been disabled with PTSD for the past 13 years due to prolonged child abuse. :(

I also have cfs and fms which causes chronic widespread pain and physical exhaustion. Often I don't know how much pain I am in until I get some relief from it for awhile. It is the same with PTSD. Until I get some relief from it, I often don't recognize just how bad it is, and yet, I wake up everyday with the knowledge that I am disabled because of what others have done to me...it really sucks!:mad:

I try to view ptsd as a psychological injury; kinda like having a bad leg and needing a crutch to walk with. I guess that helps take a little of the sting out of it for me.:confused:

wishing you better days,
LH

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Often I don't know how much pain I am in until I get some relief from it for awhile. It is the same with PTSD. Until I get some relief from it, I often don't recognize just how bad it is...

I SO know how this feels! I've gotten accustomed to being in pain, and it's quite surprising when I get a break!! It helps me deal with my emotional issues...just to be pain-free for a few hours. :tup: