Relationship Email from his ex...

[Sighs]

Whej my vet got home from Afghanistan his wife of 20 years had packed up the house and kids.

Now she's split with her current boyfriend and has emailed my vet asking him for money. And I think he's going to give it to her.

We don't have a lot of money. We borrowed some money to do work on the house but he spent it on something else - with my knowledge - on the basis that he would pay it back. The work on the house is becoming urgent. He still hasn't paid it back. But now he's going to give her money?

Grrrrrr

 

[scout86]

How does it make sense to him to give her the money? Doesn't really sound like he owes her anything. She made her own choices. If there are minor children involved, maybe. But then you'd kind of want to know that the kids actually benefited.

 

[Friday]

Men.

 

[Sighs]

Kids are all grown.

I warned him when we heard through the kids that she was single again. I told him - she'll reach out to you if she needs something.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not worried about him getting back together with her. Just cranky that she still feels entitled to his help. She signed off the email "love always". FFS. And I guess cranky that he feels he owes it to her.

I wouldn't piss on my ex if he were on fire! And I certainly wouldn't ask him for anything ever. Sigh!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Kids are all grown.

Oh hell no!

My brain was thinking, well they are his kids (missed the 20 yrs ago part) but yeah, her and just her without the kids, he better f*cking not dare to f*ck with OUR money like that.

You are a good woman Sighs as Id put my shoe up his ass so far that he'd be tasting my toes for a year!

 

[Friday]

And I guess cranky that he feels he owes it to her

Maybe less he owes it to her, & maybe more the testosterone-y ...Look At What You Lost. I can provide for me, mine, AND bail your stupid ass out. Suck it. And know I'm better than you. (Or who you replaced me with.)

Giving money to people is sometimes less about obligation & more about ego. Especially bruised ego.

Of course, I could be completely wrong! :D Which would be awesome. Cuz if it's obligation not degradation? History owes it, instead of crawling back on her knees is worth it? A helluva lot more traction comes with that one. And a lot less prickly male pride.

 

[Sighs]

Lol - some days I swear Friday - you ARE my vet in female form!

I hadn't thought of I but I'm sure there is a huge "yep - you treated me lik e garbage but I can still bail your sorry arse out of trouble" male ego thing going on here...

Figure it means I don't have to feel guilty about spending money to go see my daughter interstate.

And have made it clear that I will not be contributing anything to the house renos until he's paid back all he borrowed.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Whej my vet got home from Afghanistan his wife of 20 years had packed up the house and kids.

Now she's...

A lot of times when that happens it is anchored in the psyche, meaning he may have guilt feelings about things that happened earlier and he is trying to level the field by giving her money.

Because that is something I learned, my father who is abusive tried that too and I have to change my bank info in order to prevent him from doing that. One can not pay money to a victim and think the problem is solved, but that is what they think about.

 

[Sighs]

Yeah. I really don't think she is the victim here.

 

[Ronin]

Have you tried the Honey, it would be veery awesome if you put that money into (wherever it actually needs to go), distracting him from ideas of her at all?

Good luck dealing with all of this, @Sighs. Sorry you're in a hard spot because of her.

 

[Sighs]

Meh. He's decided to give her some money. I've told him he can forget her ever paying it back and he says he knows she probably won't. I said "oh well, I wonder what she'll ask for next" and he said he doesn't think she'll ask for anything else.

Pffft. After deciding she didn't want to be with him (after 25 years, 3 children and 10 deployments) the minute she's single who does she look to for help? Him.

We'll see. if she starts to try to involve him in her life I have no problem telling him it's her or me.

 

[Ronin]

he said he doesn't think she'll ask for anything else.

Shaking my head at the naivete.

We'll see.

Fingers crossed that bitch backs off to hells she came from soon.