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Emotional Flashbacks?

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Melody coates

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so my flashbacks are more emotional rather than physical. i tend to overreact emotionally to situations. so far my triggers are when someone uses a certain tone of voice and when i feel physically threatened. the other day i got into an argument with a friend and she told me to get out of the car. i refused, she had her bf pull over and she tried to force me out of the car by grabbing my feet. i literally thought she was trying to harm me and she wasnt. i called the cops and everything. thats how shaken up i was about it. this is ruining my relationships cuz im being waved off as "too sensitive" :(
 
Hi Melody,

do you feel able to go through the incident in the car with attention to who said and did what in terms of individual boundaries and individual ownership for words and actions?

there appear to be several important points in there, but they are not clear at present.
 
here's what happened. i live at a shelter. and the shelter has curfews and sign in time. i was already late back as it was from an interview . she and her bf gave me a ride there and they were giving me a ride back. she was thinking of picking up her son and walking the rest of the way back to her shelter. then she said that if she decides to walk back then i have to as well. i refused cuz i was already late and the front desk wasn't answering the phone at the time. she made her bf pull over then she tried to force me out of the car by pulling on my leg. in my mind this chick was trying to cause me harm and thats how i reacted to it. i was so shaken up that i was crying and i called the cops when i got back to my shelter. later on that evening she tried to explain that she wasn't trying to hurt me. she just wanted me out of the car cuz she felt dierespected. this isnt the first time i've overracted to a situation....... i can't help it! :(
 
Ok, I think I'm beginning to understand, please correct me if I'm getting this wrong.

Words don't come easily when we are stressed.

I'm guessing that you haven't know this girl for very long?

It can be difficult when we have to rely on people we haven't known for long, and who don't know the background info, for example, that you were already late for curfew.

It's good that she is reaching out.

Do you feel up to meeting her for a coffee and a talk? put some ground rules in place first, that if either of you start to feel stressed, that you say so and can both take a rest to calm down. that neither of you will let it get heated.

If you are each able to talk and each see where things went wrong and could have been done better - good.

If she can't own her mistakes, don't try to make her own them - keep calm, and just acknowledge to yourself, that she's perhaps not the best person to have to rely on.

Be careful about the cops. I make no secret that I have a very low opinion of the institution of statist police, and a very low opinion of many (not all) of the individuals who wear their badges and costumes, and claim to have special privileges over the rest of us.

What cops are portrayed as being on TV, and what you actually get in real life, can be very different things. At worst, you can get a bunch of [anabolic ste]roid raging thugs, who expects to enjoy the special privilege to be able to beat hell out of people, or even to murder them, with absolute impunity. Compare that to a member of a street gang - and the street gang member expects to face the full consequences of the law if he is caught. the cop fully expects to, at worst, get a few days "suspension on full pay" ( a paid holiday).

No one is safe when cops are around, but if you are poor, have a noticeable minority accent or, are a member of a visible minority, then be extra careful.

Good luck, you've got yourself somewhere safe, you're making progress.
 
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