Relationship Emotional numbing/flatness

[Sweetpea76]

@B.J. its a public forum... people are going to respond to posts. It's your job to take what you want and leave the rest.

 

[joeylittle]

So what does that make him?

A failed relationship? I am sorry you are hurting, but failed relationships do happen.

Again, for those who are looking to twist the knife I already have in my heart, please respect me by not posting anything to dive your point home.

No one is doing this. But you consistently default to this stance, that posters who challenge your assumptions are attacking you. And, you do this in a way that pulls other people's threads off-topic.

I am sorry, but it's been enough. Take care.

 

[RRT13]

@Jess p i didnt go see him. I tried to for a few days this week but kept being told he had food poisoning. Maybe he did, maybe he didnt. We talked Friday night some on text and he seemed agitated at times. Still thinks he needs to move away from his family so he can be happy. I didnt hear from him yesterday and havent today. Im not sure if I should text him todayor just let him when hes ready.

 

[RRT13]

I think hes battling depression as well and Im not sure how to respond. Ive decided to take my feelings out of the equation with him and not obsess over our relationship anymore. I still want to be there for him but not sure what to do.

 

[Freida]

Oh that's a tough one. I wish I could help but I'm not sure either -- especially if depression is in the mix.... Maybe just a text that says you hope he's feeling better? It would really suck if he wanted you to come and then got food poisoning and had to cancel. I know in my feeble little brain I would make that into a huge story about how I don't deserve supporters and the universe wants me to be alone and blah blah blah

 

[RRT13]

@Freida ill send him a text saying that and see how it goes. He was adamant about me not coming up so I wouldn't get. I kind of think maybe depression has him not wanting to be around anyone. He told me Friday night he hasn't been happy in over a month. He's still wanting to move to be happy in a month or two.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sadly he may have to keep on running, and running, and running before finally realizing that running gets you nowhere, the PTSD always catches up. There’s not much you can say to convince him otherwise. It’s something he has to learn in his own.

 

[Freida]

@EveHarrington is right -- it took me years of running before I figured it out. I have a very patient hubby but I didn't make it easy on him

 

[jessica p]

We haven’t been together long we met on tinder the beginning of November n strait away we clicked well I felt we did anyway he was fantastic made me feel good always telling me how beaut I am always wanting to spend time with me

spent nearly everyday together at Christmas, he did tell me breifly about his ptsd but not much he was in the army for about 10 years but got injured so they kicked him out he now suffers from bad back pain and nightmares all of which I have tried to support him with but it was never an issue for me he can’t go out much or for very long because of the pain, he has shared with me bits about what he did in the army by not much I assumed he doesn’t like to talk about it ,

everything was fine until his mate broke up with his g/f and was staying at his, I started to notice he didn’t want to come to mine as much as he did before, and he started keeping his phone hidden which he never did b4 4 weeks ago we had a small argument about me having a migraine he seemed to be not very sympathetic toward me, it ended up with him storming off and not speaking to me for days, I apologised for what I said when I was mad, but he wudnt not except it, he then said I need space

days went on still ingnoring me and being very short with me, I jus wanted to sort it out I cud not understand y he didn’t want to see me and y he wanted space he told me to look up ptsd which I did after I realised I may of triggered something that made his ptsd flare up, 2 weeks later still not replying to me or jus telling me he needs space I asked him do you still want to be with me? He said yes but what u have done is bad n I need time,

but something jus didn’t sit well with me he is constantly on Facebook and whatsapp which left me thinking y can he be taking to someone and not want to talk to me , so my friend. Made a tinder account and there he was in there! My heart sunk my anxiety was they thru the root I immediately messaged him and lost it I was so hurt that he jus cudnt tell me and kept me stringing along , he denies being on there and said some accounts are still active after a period of time to which I then felt terrible and apologised , he then turned nasty and said I’m a cold person I don’t listen to him and I show him no love and am emotionless? I was so confused to y he was saying this as thing was going great until this, he refused I talk to me after that,

then my friend rang me and said she had matched with him on tinder as a fake profile and he then started messaging this girl tellIn her he had been single for 2 years and calling her beautiful, I was devostated , how could he do this? If he didn’t want me I gave him a clear way out he just had to tell me , I don’t not tell him what I had found out for a week then I sent him a long txt being very nice basically jus saying I know u hane moved on and that’s fine and that I enjoyed our time together and I hope he finds what he is looking for , and that if he could get my thing from his flat , it was about 5 pages long to which he replied.. moved on don’t fink so! And the blocked me! I then sent a normal txt as that was the only thing he never blocked me on saying I’m just trying to be sivel ,

a lot of messages followed basically blaming me for everything, I asked but how can he justify taking to girls he said he only spoken to a few and it was just to talk nuffing else? Another lie as I had already seen the messages he sent them and they was not just friendly, still I told him I loved him and I don’t know y he is doing this , he then slowly started to communicate with me bit still only me starting the convo or we wud not speak he agreed to let me go to his Saturday just goneand even invited me to a meal with his family to my surprise, but an hour later canceld and said he was now going to be busy for another to weeks he said he had been in hospital for an attempted overdose, and he is depressed but am I going mad but Therese don’t seem to be the actions of a suicidal person?

Is it all just lies and is he keeping me on the sideline while he looks for someone else ? Any advice wud be great full of any1 who had ptsd or is in a similar situation? Thanks

 

[Amethus]

We haven’t been together long we met on tinder the beginning of November n strait away we clicked well I felt we d...

I think a little bit of this is close to Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The first part of a love relationship for both of them can be a relief of symptoms. (Actually quite a few sufferers said this on a thread I posted.) I have been with one diagnosed Narc and one that I am pretty sure was another one and a lot of the cycle of the relationships were similar to this last one I had with a sufferer of ptsd. Both are started by trauma. The big difference is the intention of why they treat people the way they do. I could literally feel my current ex just saying things to push me a way because of guilt. A Narc feels like a snake that wants to eat you alive. But that is from my observation.