Emotional Numbness

[Minty]

As I've said before on this site in another post, I'm very sad and I would like nothing more than to cry. I literally feel like bawling for hours. The problem is the tears stay at the back of my eyes but won't come. I just want to cry and I don't know what to do :'(

 

[Dissociation]

I know exactly how you feel. I have been feeling the same for years and years..

You have a huge quantity of pain inside, but also other feelings, strong negative feelings, mixed with pain. Maybe anger, maybe shame. That's why tears don't come out.

Try to express what you feel, even if numbness is the principal "emotion". Try to act crying, when you feel you want to cry but you can't: imagine that you are an actress and at that point of the copycat you have to cry. Act the best you can. And do the same for every single emotion you feel just a little bit and you know you need to express more.

Don't be afraid to look strange, you will be alone in your room whle doing that ;)

 

[WillyKat]

I know how that feels.

This year, I've been able to cry. Once last spring, I went for a nighttime walk in the cold and ended up laying on the walkpath (out where no one was around) crying my heart out. My walk that night started with rage at my wife for triggering me. After being out the better part of an hour, the rage became frustration and finally, full on grief. I have not been that low since I was 18, which was quite some time ago.

I recently went on a wilderness vision quest where I cried several times, but those times were mostly tears of joy. Hmmm..."joy" may not be the right word. Let's try "understanding".

I don't have any advice on what to do, except maybe to suggest going somewhere very far away from anyone. Maybe the isolation might help. After all, we are very isolated at times, even though there are always people around. Maybe really being alone will help the feelings come.

 

[arfie]

Not all of us have active tear ducts. Even when I can release the emotions, my tear production is not real substantial.

 

[Minty]

Before I developed PTSD and Depression I was able to cry fine, my tear ducts are perfectly healthy, beyond that whenever I think or write about my suicidal thoughts a few tears have fallen...

 

[littlelostchild]

Hi Minty,
I have a really hard time crying, too. I tried painting - just abstract stuff, nothing I would pin up, but very emotionally charged and I became tearful. I didn't full on cry, but it's the closest I've come in years. Just a thought - a creative activity may help evoke tears.