even consensual sex gives me flashbacks?

[EveHarrington]

Nah.

Yes, Flashbacks of good sexual experiences that happen AFTER sex are different than flashbacks of sexual abuse that happen DURING good sex.

You are essentially saying that all fruit is fruit while I’m saying there is a difference between apples and bananas.

I’m not wrong, but you’re trying to make me wrong. I’m looking at things at a more detailed level.

 

[Skywatcher]

I’m wondering if that happened since the body has the same physiologically reaction to both good sex and abusive sex. Also, my good sex and trauma sex are so intertwined at this point I never know how I’m going to react.

 

[Friday]

Curious... Flashbacks (reliving) or Intrusive Thoughts (remembering)?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

But now, every time I so much as think about it, I get flashbacks that feel just as distressing as the flashbacks I get from remembering my sexual abuse!

Can you describe the flashbacks you are getting after the sex that is just as disturbing as the flashbacks of your sexual abuse?

With that question asked, I do want to point out that flashbacks are not all visual. You can have purely emotional ones. Or flashbacks that use the other senses. So instead of seeing it's hearing or smelling or touching. So you have a flashback where you feel someone touching but don't see them. Or where you smell something but don't see or hear it. Or you hear something but can't see or feel it. Or you emotionally feel something but can't see, hear, or physically feel it. Or, you can have a flashback with all senses at the same time. You can see it, hear it, physically feel it, emotionally feel it. Etc.

I am not saying this is what it was but wanted to back up my question with some facts about flashbacks that may help. All still flashbacks. Just different types of flashbacks.

 

[candor]

you have a flashback where you feel someone touching but don't see them.

I never thought of it that way! This is extremely helpful. I had an experience like this which was tactile not visual. I was alone in my bed and not asleep. I felt my body being touched. It was terrifying in the sense that I did not know if this was a form of ESP, some psychotic episode ...the uncertainty of feeling something to be real that your mind is telling you "This is not real". "Tactile hallucination is the false perception of tactilesensory input that creates a hallucinatory sensation of physical contact with an imaginary object. " My partner was having symptoms like the OP described. The hardest part was listening to all the excuses he made for not getting sexual that sounded fake and false. Instead of telling me that he had a problem, he made me feel that I was all wrong. I realized quite early that I was the trigger. I would get triggered every time he did. We waited too long to ever talk about it.. four years and now its a sexless relationship. I don't let him know that it is heart breaking cause he has enough on his plate. However, the main problem as I see it is the fact that if you don't talk about it, you can never really know what the expectations are or can be. "Holding hands is sexual." In some countries there is a lot more hold handing and kissing... I need.... we all need to slow down and bring back some of that touching. whether touch is called sexual or not, it can be a great destresser. It doesn't mean anything else has to happen.