LCB,
I just wanted to say welcome, and I'm pretty new here, too, so I'll just let others give you their advice and insight, because I don't really know.
But I do know all about the fear of doctors and doctors offices! I can't function on the day of a doctors appointment, sometimes for days before a doctors appointment, which makes it really interesting for me to get therapy on a regular basis. The last time I was in a doctors office... man, it was horrible. Something was going on with another patient, and my appointment was delayed well over an hour, maybe two, it's all a blur. So, I sat in the waiting room, in a chair, outta my mind with fear, frozen, finding myself holding my breath, then feeling like I was gonna pass out, then gulping for breath, over and over. I must have looked okay, a little nervous, I mean, my husband was sitting next to me and everything.
Anyways, when I finally got in to see the doctor (and my husband wandered in with me, to make sure I was settled, because he does know how hard these things are for me), I like flipped. There must have been some look on my face, because suddenly, my husband like quickly steps in front of me, pushes me behind him and places himself between me and the doctor. I swear I was gonna deck that stupid doctor chick! (And you don't know me, but I am not physically violent with people, like at all, so this was just so totally bizarre and unexpected.)
After that I sorta ran screaming (in my head anyways) outta the office. Anyways... I only bring this up, not to freak anyone out, but to say, yeah, doctors offices can be a major trigger. And when you're already preparing yourself to be triggered by bringing up past trauma... it's really, really awful. So, maybe I shouldn't have shared this story, but I really wanted you to know you're not alone. Just think, whatever your experience tonight, you'll handle it better than I did. ;D
What to do about it is more complicated... I like to distract myself (like, when I start worrying about a doctors appointment, I'll watch a new movie or read a new book and try to get totally into it, so I'm not spinning in my head with all the fear and worry). Um... walking around in nature and laying in the grass and staring at the sky... these are new things I've learned to just do that are surprisingly helpful. Promising myself a reward if I just get through the doctors appointment as best I can... like going shopping or out to dinner (two things I love to do). Oh, and #1 best thing to do... try to breath. Yeah, easier said than done.
Just... hang in there. I think any therapy is important and worth it, because, you've gotta try, right? And I'll be wishing you lots of luck tonight. And you can be wishing me luck (if you like) that I don't punch my doctor out next Monday (my first doctors appointment in awhile, yikes!).
D