General Extreme Rage For No Apparent Reason

[Berger90]

Does any one else just go from happy, content, nothing wrong in the world to completely engulfed in hate and anger the next moment? I don't know what's making it happen, everything is going fine in my life, i just graduated from college, I'm about to start my life. What's there to be mad about?

I just get in these moods where every little thing sets me the **** off.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Berger,

Yes this happens to me. I don't physically rage - but verbally I do. I would say I 'rant' and it happens so quickly. In fact reading the cup explanation on this website made a lot of sense to me - because sometimes good things set me off. That never made any sense to me - why something great could set me off. It certainly contributed to the collapse of my last relationship. My ex could never understand why I was fine one minute - then triggered and ranting the next. I didn't understand it myself. I would say, for myself, it is the most painful part of the condition because I'm not a mean person. I'm quiet, gentle, kind. When I become this ranting mess I can't stand it, because it's not me. Also, it has cost me friendships because I have got into arguments over silly things.

The other extremely painful thing about it is that I'm now scared to get into another relationship. I suppose somewhere in my head I think 'what's the point? Eventually I'll be around them when I'm triggered and I'll rant and they wont want to be around me anymore'. So I push people away before they even have a chance to really get to know me. I've become absolutely determined to not let anyone be with me in a relationship right now.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

But Berger is a carer and Jen is responding as a sufferer. I don't think jens response really applies since it's PTSD based and the op doesn't have PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

ScaredOfLonely,

My bad. I just looked at the title thread and responded. Being set off easily is a PTSD thing so I suppose I didnt look at the sufferer/carer part. As I said, my bad.

 

[Berger90]

Sorry, I wrote that in a super bad mood. To clear up any confusion, I never get physical or verbally abusive with anyone. Nor do I really take my anger out on anyone, it's more I just super super irritated by every little thing. For instance, I remember my mom bugging me about moving matters that I really need to take care of. I just remember getting super irritated, she said anything to me about it.

Sorry about the confusion.

 

[amethist]

I had one of those days earlier this week Berger90.

Every little thing irritated me big style, to the point if I had a visible stress bucket it would have been kicked into out space. None of this was caused by any of my husbands PTSD issues. Some times we manage everything so well, large and small, that we fill up the stress bucket without noticing and then not letting anything out.

Hence the explosion.

As carers we have to be aware of our own health too, mental and physical. We have to learn to take time out for our own needs, when we do, we then find it easier to cope with most of what is thrown at us. Notice I said MOST.

Take care and do things just for you.

Amethist

 

[Deleted member 5760]

I may be in a bit of trouble for posting these lyrics in the 'carer's' section. But they just came into my head and I felt a sudden urge to post them -

Most of the time
I'm clear focused all around,
Most of the time
I can keep both feet on the ground,
I can follow the path, I can read the signs,
Stay right with it, when the road unwinds,
I can handle whatever I stumble upon,
I don't even notice she's gone,
Most of the time.

Most of the time
It's well understood,
Most of the time
I wouldn't change it if I could,
I can't make it all match up, I can hold my own,
I can deal with the situation right down to the bone,
I can survive, I can endure
And I don't even think about her
Most of the time.

Most of the time
My head is on straight,
Most of the time
I'm strong enough not to hate.
I don't build up illusion 'till it makes me sick,
I ain't afraid of confusion no matter how thick
I can smile in the face of mankind.
Don't even remember what her lips felt like on mine
Most of the time.

Most of the time
She ain't even in my mind,
I wouldn't know her if I saw her
She's that far behind.
Most of the time
I can't even be sure
If she was ever with me
Or if I was with her.

Most of the time
I'm halfway content,
Most of the time
I know exactly where I went,
I don't cheat on myself, I don't run and hide,
Hide from the feelings, that are buried inside,
I don't compromised and I don't pretend,
I don't even care if I ever see her again
Most of the time.

-Bob Dylan

 

[Cin]

I do, Berger. I have days where I just snap over the smallest of things when usually I'm pretty good at shrugging things off. I don't know where it comes from, but I know when I feel like that, my chest feels tight, my throat tightens and I have an overwhelming sense to let out a huge scream just to let go off the negative energy. I then usually cry.

 

[Nicolette]

I then usually cry.

It's funny....Anthony actually can sense when I am overloaded (he calls it "that time") and I can be quite narky and sometimes bitchy! He usually puts on one of my favorite lovey dovey movies and says "it's time you had a good cry" and patiently suffers through watching the movie with me, holding me, while I ball my eyes out. Afterwards, despite the swollen eyes, I do feel much better. It's also a better way of dealing with the situation than me reaching explosion point. I'm lucky Anthony recognizes the signs and sits me down accepting that I too can have too much stress.

 

[Cin]

Crying is great and I'm not talking about the sitting around feeling sorry for myself crying, but that crying that comes from the pit of your stomach, then just seems to let everything go.

 

[ISupportHer]

Just wondered if anyone has looked at the lunar effects. I know there is so much involved here but wondered if that has ever been brought up here?

ISH

 

[Berger90]

I definitely have not ISH, if you have, I would love for you to share some light on it. I'm assuming it has something to do with Carer well being.

-Cin, that's the exact same feeling I get. I usually get really anxious as well, start second guessing myself and other's motives. I've found that listening to music really gets me over everything. Thankfully I have a computer full of music!