Extremely anxious without any idea -why-

[Sweetleaf]

I'm so anxious right now, I have been all day. Sweaty palms, shaking, butterflies in my stomach, feeling like I can't breathe, so on and so forth. Panic attack stuff, just, almost constant. But, I have no idea -why- I am this anxious. I don't really have non-trauma-related stressors going on right now, and I haven't really been thinking of my trauma more than usual today, I haven't gotten super triggered by anything, etc. There's nothing sticking out that makes me go "ahhh this is why I am anxious" or "this has to be contributing to my anxiety"

This happens to me a lot - being severely anxious without any idea why I am that anxious.

It's like my window of tolerance shrinks to 0 tolerance to anything, thus heightened anxiety.

I have noticed that today I feel like I'm dissociating less than in previous days. Ever since the restraining order renewal against my abuser was denied, I've been super dissociated. Today is probably the least dissociated I've been since, but also the most highly anxious. But that all happened weeks ago - am I just getting hit by it all at once or something?

Gah.

Anyone relate or have any input?

 

[Phoenix(not)]

I'm sorry to hear you are finding things hard right now. I think all our peers will empathise and relate to what you have expressed.

I have been referred to more than several group seminars where Mindfulness is taught. Some professionals regard it as "the new black" but for quite some time I did not actually "buy into it" and did not believe how effective it can be. If you do a google search to find the top selling books on this topic, rent/buy it, read it, (most importantly) believe it and practice the techniques and you can master Mindfulness, I have become a serious devotee and supporter of it, because it is a technique we can all learn if we truly believe it can mitigate anxiety and persistent intrusive thoughts, if not make them go away (aka "Teflon Mind"). In truth, I struggle at times because the consequences of PTSD burden me heavily. But when I become anxious and/or distressed, I now almost automatically drop into this technique and find almost immediate relief. It breaks that cycle. Vipassana Meditation also worked profoundly well so I guess, I'm doing a mixed Mindfulness technique. The point though is it equal to or even better than any medication (and has no detrimental side effects). I hope this is a helpful and practical reply.

 

[Friday]

That’s generally what I think of as pure PTSD.

A lot of the stuff that gets attributed to PTSD is just life stuff, and the disorder reacting with stress the way it likes best. But it does actually exist on its own, without being thumped awake by outside influence.

YAY! Symptom spike! :wtf:

 

[Sweetleaf]

@Phoenix(not) - thanks for the recommendations; something I found that helps me with mindfulness and also with grounding, etc. is yoga. I attended about 6 months worth of trauma sensitive yoga (2.5hrs every week) and it was really helpful in regards to that sort of stuff. It really helped to have it all be geared for trauma survivors.

@Friday - I think you're right about that. Just, symptoms existing out of nowhere, tied to nothing other than the disorder itself being present. It's hard to remember that there doesn't have to be a real cause for symptoms to spike up, there doesn't have to be a trigger, and it doesn't have to all come with reminders/memories of the events.

Today I feel a lot better. I don't feel any particular way, in fact I am in a quasi positive mood. That said I have been still having brief moments of slight anxiety, but, that's unfortunately pretty normal for me. Yesterday afternoon not long after I made this thread I took valium and pretty much spent the rest of the day laying on the couch, too sedated feeling to feel like using my computer or playing instruments or doing anything at all, which sucked because I -wanted- to do things, I wanted to play instruments, do shit on my computer, but it was too hard to put out even that low level of effort. But, I had relief from the overwhelming panic/anxiety I was feeling. Pretty much entirely squashed it. I hate that with that drug I have to choose between not taking it, being severely anxious -but- able to physically function - and taking it, relieving the extreme anxiety, but having to deal with the sedation.

 

[Phoenix(not)]

I suspect Yoga would be also excellent for symptomatic relief, as long as you strive to focus _all_ of your attention on the exercise or the part of your body you are stretching etc. The giving all your attention to [a thing] is what allows our minds to stop thinking about things that then create an (unwelcome) emotional or physical response. Anything is better than experiencing distress / anxiety and focusing attention on it as this will only perpetuate or make worse.

I too occasionally use a benzo, but only half (of a 3.5mg) tablet. It still helps but the effect is non-sedating. Perhaps try a half to see?
I also recognise we are all different - what works for one person may not for another. Good luck.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @Sweetleaf - I get this too and I find it's quite cyclic but not predictable. Uninvited, it descends upon me from nowhere. I have no suggestions to give you but it's quite a frustrating part of ptsd I agree.

When I have pushed myself too hard, I know what to blame and I know how to deal with that.. sort of.

I'm glad you feel better today :hug: I hope you catch up on the things you wanted to do.

Really I don't think being a lounge lizard for an afternoon is too bad even though I know you had things to do.

 

[Sweetleaf]

Thanks for the replies, I'm glad I'm feeling better, too. Today I'm about how I was yesterday, which was low to mid grade anxious - which is preferable to constant panic attack mode.

@blackemerald1 - The things I was wanting to do were not too important yesterday, at least. I suppose it is better to have relief from the anxiety than worry about a day of not being able to do much.

Also yeah - it feels like it just comes out of nowhere, unpredictable but still cyclical/regularly occurring. That's a good way to put it.

I too occasionally use a benzo, but only half (of a 3.5mg) tablet. It still helps but the effect is non-sedating. Perhaps try a half to see?

I wish that would work for me. Right now I need 7.5-10mg of diazepam (valium) to make really severe panic like that stop entirely. Generally I only use 5mg but, that dose does very little when things are really, really bad.

Taking 5mg usually leaves me feeling functional enough and takes care of panic attack mode in general, it's just I have days where I'm like panic attack mode squared, and the entire day is like one huge steady panic attack.


Normally if I'm having a panic attack day, it's one where I have intermittent panic attacks, ones where I go from a mid-level anxiety to severe for a number of minutes, and then back down again.

Anyone else have those days where it's just like, the -entire- day is just one huge panic attack?

edit: meant to include more in my post

 

[Rachel2535]

I'm so anxious right now, I have been all day. Sweaty palms, shaking, butterflies in my stomach, feeling like I can't breathe, so on and so forth. Panic attack stuff, just, almost constant. But, I have no idea -why- I am this anxious. I don't really have non-trauma-related stressors going on right now, and I haven't really been thinking of my trauma more than usual today, I haven't gotten super triggered by anything, etc. There's nothing sticking out that makes me go "ahhh this is why I am anxious" or "this has to be contributing to my anxiety"

This happens to me a lot - being severely anxious without any idea why I am that anxious.

It's like my window of tolerance shrinks to 0 tolerance to anything, thus heightened anxiety.

I have noticed that today I feel like I'm dissociating less than in previous days. Ever since the restraining order renewal against my abuser was denied, I've been super dissociated. Today is probably the least dissociated I've been since, but also the most highly anxious. But that all happened weeks ago - am I just getting hit by it all at once or something?

Gah.

Anyone relate or have any input?

Oh yes anxiety tends to sneak up on me at the most not so obvious times. When I used to track it I started seeing patterns of sleep, what I ate, even hydration had a huge effect on my anxiety. I have found that repeating positive things such as verses or I am safe, I am ok, I will not fear was also helpful. Have you read the book mending the soul by Steven Tracy. This book helped me heal after the abuse I suffered. Praying for you -Rachel

 

[HealingInProcess]

I like to label sensations and feeling sometimes and say them out loud. I find this helps when I'm going through things like this.

 

[EveHarrington]

My baseline feeling is anxiety, so there is no “cause” other than simply having PTSD.