Facebook Depresses Me - Facebook Blues

[Unmensch]

I used to shun MySpace (before its decline) thinking that you had to be this really adventurous metrosexual explorer of everything to have a profile. Then I met people who were on MySpace and realized that they were ordinary, run-of-the-mill folks camping it up. FB isn't a lot better - FB is an extremely superficial, happy-camper entertainment-level type of environment for swapping funny and thought-provoking articles or leaving the odd fun anecdote - any real communication should not be on the wall. It's a me-billboard, that's all.

I admit that I use my FB persona to look like an utterly regular guy, and that's not difficult - I also organize events through FB, events that attract people who think I'm a regular guy (I created the event, so I must be ok) - and why would they even think about why the organizer should be anything but what it says on the tin, they're there for the event (which is essentially just as superficial as FB). I like it that way. I like feeling like a regular guy.

(... until someone I've confided in about my PTSD comes to the event, then my paranoia and inferiority and guilt and shame take over and I still have an event to manage ...)

 

[Privateer]

Oh, yeah, it's definitely a billboard. Future employers go looking for you on it these days, so it can help to put photos and stories of you doing cool stuff on it. Just keep clear of photos of you lying in a drunken stupor...

I use it to remind people of how amazingly awesome I am and why they should want me around. ;)

 

[Unmensch]

I have some really stupid photos of me on FB - I keep them on view just so I can show the world how little I care... (they're on friends only, of course!)

 

[JustBe]

I recently reactivated my facebook account (it never really goes away even when deleted) so that I can keep in contact with my boys, DIL, and nieces and nephew. I do not post anything and only have immediate family as "friends" If I want to comment, I email them.

 

[Tanishq]

What scares me people having 1000+ friends on FB and they care about none. What's the meaning of 1k friends online? Do they have work in offline life? :eek:

 

[Spiderallis]

Lol, I'm only a few 'friends' away from 1000, but I've got a funny story about that. I kept adding strangers to make my relatives' posts blur into a steady stream of people who post positive things. It's easier to deal with a few constant complainers I can't de-friend politely if they're surrounded by photos of cute animals and sweet things other people have shared. Besides, I can't get to Farmville without FB... it cheers me up, it's a silly little escape.

 

[blackemerald1]

Jaret I could not agree more. Yes I do wonder how a person can have 1k friends and keep up to date on their lives. These really popular people must sit and watch their screen all day. It brings to mind, in these people's eyes what is a 'friend'?

I do not have lots of friends, but I have plenty of acquaintances whom I don't know what they are doing from one month to the next. When we do bump into each other we have a chat about what we are both up to, but I do not tell them personal stuff, I keep that for my friends.

I think FB is more about strategy and mass mail-outs for various social events. However from recent Police reports, even that has gone wrong and a whole bunch of people who read that a party was on, converged on the house, trashed it, became violent and caused havoc, So I just don't get it, maybe I am too old. lol
blackemerald1

 

[Tanishq]

When we do bump into each other we have a chat about what we are both up to, but I do not tell them personal stuff, I keep that for my friends.

I had lots of problems from early childhood. I would meet new people, make friends and when I had difficult time none of them come forward to help me. After finishing teenage, I became so scared to make new friends and also became lot more personal. I can't keep too many friends. I like to care about them, be honest with them and also be together.

I like to people who resonate and keep in touch with them. Sometimes I do take things too personal. :unsure:

Thank you Blackemerald for pointing me that it's not necessary to share everything with everyone.

Yes, I heard something FB police and violent incidents. Cops are really strict on FB.

 

[blackemerald1]

Spiderallis you are a character! Actually your reason for having so many friends is quite ingenious and the best reason I have read so far about WHY people have so many "friends." So you push your negative relative "friends" out of the lime-light by inundating your page with stuffed animals and cute things. I love that idea.

I take it that they leave your page after a while, or do you just ignore them?

In any case, at least you are not sitting on a pedestal croaking how many 'friends' you have and, it is a means to an end with the game. I can understand that!
Kind regards
blackemerald1

 

[blackemerald1]

Jaret said:
I like to care about them, be honest with them and also be together.
I like to people who resonate and keep in touch with them. Sometimes I do take things too personal. :unsure:


I feel the same way Jaret. Not only can I not have too many people as real "friends" - with my PTSD and various other illnesses I have, I just get emotionally exhausted. I find it difficult to truly be a friend back because I am in emotional over-load about so many other things, I cannot support them, so I am being a fraud. Not that too many people are bashing down my door to be a honest to God, friend. But I do have a few and I love them very much and as you said, I resonate with them.

Don't worry about taking things too personal, I have been condemned as being too intense, emotional and similar words. What can I do about it? I feel things become close to my heart and maybe because of my illness, it makes me more sensitive to things going on around me, maybe more than it used to. Maybe it is your illness doing this to you too.

Kind regards
blackemerald1

 

[Tanishq]

I feel the same way Jaret. Not only can I not have too many people as real "friends" - with my PTSD and various other illnesses I have, I just get emotionally exhausted.

This happens with me. Thank god, I was thinking I am the one who is very weird man to feel this all. I do get exhausted and begin to think what if they are using me to get advantages.

I do have some memories of being rejected many times by my parents. So I tend to think people can reject me. It's past haunted memories, some of them I have been stuck. I will think on it, it sounds it is clearing up now.

Thank you for your input blackemerald. It is helpful.:)

Warmth Regards,
Jaret

 

[Spiderallis]

So you push your negative relative "friends" out of the lime-light by inundating your page with stuffed animals and cute things. I love that idea.

I take it that they leave your page after a while, or do you just ignore them?

It just makes them easier to ignore the unpleasant posts. Well, until my aunt and mom who refuse to use facebook demand to know what my cousin is saying... that's another story though. Then I go back to laughing with people I've never met about silly pictures until I'm not so agitated.