My friend works in a hospital and posted a picture of a woman helping another woman who was in the hospital bed.
She said, oh, something about how beautiful it is that mental patients can be there for each other.
Because of my sensitivities, it didn't just make me say! Yeah! It was a sweet picture!
I thought it was sweet that she took a picture of kindness, but also am never helping myself to keep friends, apparently. And I do need friends.
My stupid self writes about it being perhaps a thing to re-frame. Maybe they are just people who have disturbances.
Boom. One sentence I am saying, I identify with them, and she is not really sensitive.
Shit. What is wrong with me?
But they are still first and foremost - people, if we frame it that way, I write. The mania, the schizophrenia, the substance abuse, that is after the people first.
I cannot fit in anywhere. I am judging her. I am making random statements that alienate me. F-me.
I can no longer tell if I'm like this because I am afraid of people or if I truly have a voice to be heard... Because when I had my whits, I navigated this all much better. Now I am just a vocal lune.
I wrote here before, and I did not fit in.
I was exasperated, I suppose. A member did pick up on that.
Some folks who also don't give up gave me feedback that really was something I took to heart about getting overwhelmed. A cup overfilled. Showed me the circle-scale. So true.
You cannot write sincere thoughts and care reviews like that or the ones that also wrote that were less than cool to read from my side... It was all food for development.
I do go into rants. I have my moments. Some of them might help me to learn and hope to grow, and get back to where I can help others. That's where my heart is.
So, I cant promise I'll fit in here. I can promise to be judgmental and ridiculous... And and I can promise its because my support system was there in damage mode, and I think its time to grow and be my whacky opinionated self and get all of it back... That cannot be worse than me spiraling into nothing and alienating. That's not who I am.
Scared away for a year.?.?
She said, oh, something about how beautiful it is that mental patients can be there for each other.
Because of my sensitivities, it didn't just make me say! Yeah! It was a sweet picture!
I thought it was sweet that she took a picture of kindness, but also am never helping myself to keep friends, apparently. And I do need friends.
My stupid self writes about it being perhaps a thing to re-frame. Maybe they are just people who have disturbances.
Boom. One sentence I am saying, I identify with them, and she is not really sensitive.
Shit. What is wrong with me?
But they are still first and foremost - people, if we frame it that way, I write. The mania, the schizophrenia, the substance abuse, that is after the people first.
I cannot fit in anywhere. I am judging her. I am making random statements that alienate me. F-me.
I can no longer tell if I'm like this because I am afraid of people or if I truly have a voice to be heard... Because when I had my whits, I navigated this all much better. Now I am just a vocal lune.
I wrote here before, and I did not fit in.
I was exasperated, I suppose. A member did pick up on that.
Some folks who also don't give up gave me feedback that really was something I took to heart about getting overwhelmed. A cup overfilled. Showed me the circle-scale. So true.
You cannot write sincere thoughts and care reviews like that or the ones that also wrote that were less than cool to read from my side... It was all food for development.
I do go into rants. I have my moments. Some of them might help me to learn and hope to grow, and get back to where I can help others. That's where my heart is.
So, I cant promise I'll fit in here. I can promise to be judgmental and ridiculous... And and I can promise its because my support system was there in damage mode, and I think its time to grow and be my whacky opinionated self and get all of it back... That cannot be worse than me spiraling into nothing and alienating. That's not who I am.
Scared away for a year.?.?