Faith Vs Fear

[Deleted member 33287]

was listening to something about faith vs fear. When it comes to relationships how do you guys approach the battle of faith vs fear. Faith is the belief the best will happen fear is that worst will happen.

When it comes to starting relationships how do you win the battle of faith? While my relationship with a rape victim is done I'm starting to ask myself how did she let fear beat faith and same with me. I was curious how you guys responded to that battle

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I'm not sure what you mean or the context. Could you give a bit more information?

 

[Deleted member 33287]

I'm not sure what you mean or the context. Could you give a bit more information?

just did

 

[trying2movefwd]

Faith? What's that? Like trust? No NO! Fear ? Yes my PTSD still knows fear all too well...it still trumps. Faith though? I don't nor can't put faith in any person. I have a hard enough time with faith in My Higher Power. That's all I've got.

 

[Friday]

Faith is the belief the best will happen fear is that worst will happen.

I'd have to disagree with those definitions.

To me faith is a learned expectation. I have fain the sun will rise in the morning, because it always has in my lifetime. I have faith that my actions have consequences, although what those consequences are vary in the extreme, so my faith in each varies quite a bit. For example, exercising I may get fit or I may get injured; whereas speeding I may get caught breaking the law or I may not, but if I do get caught <insert other variables>, how much faith I have in what the consequences will be depends on those other variables, and how well acquainted I am with them. How much or how little faith I have in something very much depends on what I've learned about it through experience. I cannot have faith in something I haven't experienced.

Fear, meanwhile, is an alert that something is dangerous. Fear is just a tool. A warning.

how did she let fear beat faith and same with me.

Impossible question.

Using your definitions "why didn't she believe the best would happen with you, instead of believing the worst would happen with you"? There's no possible way to even begin to answer that, as there are thousands of possibilities, even assuming the premise. Which may not be correct. If not correct? If she broke up with you for a different reason? There are thousands more possibilities, each with thousands of answers of their own. You're looking at millions of data points. Which are ultimately not helpful to you, as each person is different, and the very reasons she broke up with you over, could be the reasons someone else falls for you.

 

[EveHarrington]

Staying safe trumps all.

End of story. (Pretty much.)

 

[Justmehere]

I don't believe someone with the mental health condition of PTSD just needs more faith, more belief that the best will happen. Believing the best will happen doesn't always make the fear go away. Faith or trust in things working out well helps a few people, but is by no means a blanket solution.

was listening to something about faith vs fear. When it comes to relationships how do you guys approach the battle of faith vs fear. Faith is the belief the best will happen fear is that worst will happen.

Maybe what you are trying to get at is how do people develop trust in one another in a new relationship?
Otherwise, trying to believe at the start of a relationship that the best will happen is setting up everyone for disaster. In new relationships it is actually important to evaluate things that seem scary, step by step, to see if they are actual dangers.

When it comes to starting relationships how do you win the battle of faith?

There is a saying that courage isn't the absence of fear, but the choice to do it anyway. I am terrified of most humans. I engage anyway because I know that not isolating is more important and that some humans are decent people. I also take measures to evaluate each relationship step by step.

While my relationship with a rape victim is done I'm starting to ask myself how did she let fear beat faith and same with me. I was curious how you guys responded to that battle

My battle with fear has little to do with faith/belief that in things will work out ok or fear that it will turn out the worst. PTSD is a brain/body disorder. There are times where I have no cognitive fears, but my body responds like I'm being chased by a tiger. Therapy and trauma resolution work is how I address PTSD related fears. Going slow and taking things step by step is how I manage other fears.

There is another saying that love drives out fear. This can sometimes be true for some people. Love often means letting go, love sometimes means great heartache. Love often accepts that the outcome can be quite painful. And real faith can include doubt and unanswered questions.

So in a nutshell, go slow and evaluate instead of jumping in feet first. That's a way to handle fears of starting new relationships.

 

[The Albatross]

Hmmm. Faith v.s. fear is really a pattern of perspective or a habit, or a behavior. Offensive living versus defensive living.

Faith presumes that not all is for our detriment (rightfully cuz not all is that perceived is personal or to our own detriment).
Fear presumes that the world is dangerous and not safe (a half truth at best because yes the world can not at times be safe and yeah it can be dangerous even with the best safeguards, unexpectedly at times).

The crux of the matter became personally which was more personally generally beneficial for me and my own life. I chose faith. Defensive living got me isolated and in the hurt locker for many years with more and more difficult choices.

Then I understood better the concepts underlying faith. It is more personally beneficial for me to scan the world for opportunity, good works or deeds, kindness than it is for me to scan for threats.

 

[Thizette]

I have learned to evaluate my fear and if it persists after evaluation, then I trust it. I take a long time getting to know people. If I know someone well I generally have faith that they don't intend to hurt me, even though they sometimes might. Example: boyfriend does something triggering--I trust that he's not doing it on purpose and that he doesn't mean to hurt me. I also put a lot of faith in my fear. If someone sets off red flags for me, I steer clear.