Sorry this is so long winded.
I have constantly gone over the internet desperate to find somebody out there that understands what I am going through. In one aspect I feel a fraud because like one of my Drs said "Its not like you have been in a war zone, you've not been kidnapped and you haven't been raped, so you need to get a grip and get on with life. Your still breathing"
My life changed at the end of November last year so yes relatively new sufferer, so much so I am going to demand to see somebody that doesn't think I am some type of waste of space in their office. I have since changed Dr to one I do trust, although still in the same surgery and I have an appointment tomorrow. So although it has been mentioned by both Drs now they feel I am suffering from PTSD. I know I am suffering and can't snap out of it or no matter how hard I try I can't get a grip, I'm cracking. I am losing control here and feel like I am stuck in a maze of questions no answers and left to just turn into a shell.
At the end of Nov I needed to have some chiropody on my large toe nail, I already was suffering with an Achilles tendon problem and because of the nature of my work (Instructor in the fitness industry) couldn't deal any longer with the pain I was getting. My Dr had already told me I couldn't get this done under the NHS and that I would have to go private, of which I did, HUGE massive mistake!!!! For 45 minutes I underwent what I can only describe as pure torture whilst trapped in a chair, nothing was sterilized, no anesthetic, filthy conditions, the person didn't ask anything about me medically or otherwise.
I left in a traumatized state, could hardly walk without collapsing on the floor, ended up at the Drs surgery within the hour getting it cleaned out and for the next 2 weeks had to have it cleaned out every other day. I have also had to undergo an aids and hepatitis test and will have to have another one done in 2 1/2 months time to ensure they have not passed on any infection to me. I ended up with a severed nerve which affected 4 toes and has upset my normal gait and balance, and I often now fall over.
I had to have 9 weeks unpaid off work but struggle and often have to try and collect myself from bursting out into tears. the lack of exercise and eating because of the stress has now made me gain over 2 stone, which in my job is frowned upon. I have tried acupuncture, next week hypnotherapy, low laser treatment, spas, sleeping tablets, herbal tablets, going to bed early, massage, you name it I think I have just about covered it in the last few weeks to no avail.
This person is now being investigated and this may be classed as clinical negligence, which will involve me going through the story a few times
The very worst thing apart from the injury and constant questions as is the NIGHTMARES. I am so scared to sleep because when I do its like I am entering into a horror movie which features me. The nightmares are not the same recurrent ones, but different ones every time, although they all amount to either assault (so bad I have had to contact my boss at 6am to ensure nobody that night got assaulted at work) a loss, either emotional (featuring my mum who actually died 4 yrs ago, my brother who died under tragic circumstances in 2004 and my cats who died within this time too) the loss can be material too, like I was held under captivity whilst my home was ransacked, or being trapped and not being able to escape. I write every nightmare down and have had 33 since 21st November 2012.
Years ago I used to get panic attacks (11yrs ago) not had one since then now they are back, taking the last breath I have away. I can't even allow anybody to go near my foot apart from the guy who I know who does acupuncture, the other week I had to go to hospital for my ankle to be injected it took my husband the Dr and a nurse to help calm me down because of a panic attack. I freak out if anybody goes near my feet so much so I have even invested in steel toe cap trainers for work.
I am also finding I am avoiding certain people as well, not because they are horrible people bu because they make me feel less of a person because I feel i am failing.
I feel so emotionally weak and not able to deal with this, hubby is really good but he is suffering now because of the lack of sleep for him too. He also worried about me and has joined my gym to go to my classes just so he is there.
I have constantly gone over the internet desperate to find somebody out there that understands what I am going through. In one aspect I feel a fraud because like one of my Drs said "Its not like you have been in a war zone, you've not been kidnapped and you haven't been raped, so you need to get a grip and get on with life. Your still breathing"
My life changed at the end of November last year so yes relatively new sufferer, so much so I am going to demand to see somebody that doesn't think I am some type of waste of space in their office. I have since changed Dr to one I do trust, although still in the same surgery and I have an appointment tomorrow. So although it has been mentioned by both Drs now they feel I am suffering from PTSD. I know I am suffering and can't snap out of it or no matter how hard I try I can't get a grip, I'm cracking. I am losing control here and feel like I am stuck in a maze of questions no answers and left to just turn into a shell.
At the end of Nov I needed to have some chiropody on my large toe nail, I already was suffering with an Achilles tendon problem and because of the nature of my work (Instructor in the fitness industry) couldn't deal any longer with the pain I was getting. My Dr had already told me I couldn't get this done under the NHS and that I would have to go private, of which I did, HUGE massive mistake!!!! For 45 minutes I underwent what I can only describe as pure torture whilst trapped in a chair, nothing was sterilized, no anesthetic, filthy conditions, the person didn't ask anything about me medically or otherwise.
I left in a traumatized state, could hardly walk without collapsing on the floor, ended up at the Drs surgery within the hour getting it cleaned out and for the next 2 weeks had to have it cleaned out every other day. I have also had to undergo an aids and hepatitis test and will have to have another one done in 2 1/2 months time to ensure they have not passed on any infection to me. I ended up with a severed nerve which affected 4 toes and has upset my normal gait and balance, and I often now fall over.
I had to have 9 weeks unpaid off work but struggle and often have to try and collect myself from bursting out into tears. the lack of exercise and eating because of the stress has now made me gain over 2 stone, which in my job is frowned upon. I have tried acupuncture, next week hypnotherapy, low laser treatment, spas, sleeping tablets, herbal tablets, going to bed early, massage, you name it I think I have just about covered it in the last few weeks to no avail.
This person is now being investigated and this may be classed as clinical negligence, which will involve me going through the story a few times
The very worst thing apart from the injury and constant questions as is the NIGHTMARES. I am so scared to sleep because when I do its like I am entering into a horror movie which features me. The nightmares are not the same recurrent ones, but different ones every time, although they all amount to either assault (so bad I have had to contact my boss at 6am to ensure nobody that night got assaulted at work) a loss, either emotional (featuring my mum who actually died 4 yrs ago, my brother who died under tragic circumstances in 2004 and my cats who died within this time too) the loss can be material too, like I was held under captivity whilst my home was ransacked, or being trapped and not being able to escape. I write every nightmare down and have had 33 since 21st November 2012.
Years ago I used to get panic attacks (11yrs ago) not had one since then now they are back, taking the last breath I have away. I can't even allow anybody to go near my foot apart from the guy who I know who does acupuncture, the other week I had to go to hospital for my ankle to be injected it took my husband the Dr and a nurse to help calm me down because of a panic attack. I freak out if anybody goes near my feet so much so I have even invested in steel toe cap trainers for work.
I am also finding I am avoiding certain people as well, not because they are horrible people bu because they make me feel less of a person because I feel i am failing.
I feel so emotionally weak and not able to deal with this, hubby is really good but he is suffering now because of the lack of sleep for him too. He also worried about me and has joined my gym to go to my classes just so he is there.
