Ecdysis
MyPTSD Pro
Having grown up with trauma, I've never had a "normal" life, that wasn't directly impacted by trauma, abuse, C-PTSD, etc.
I'm sure many who grew up in such rough childhoods also remember looking at "normal" families who seemed to live some kind of Brady Bunch life... (Tho, looking back as an adult, who knows whether their lives were really like that or whether in some cases, it was just a facade).
I've always felt like those people are a) lucky but b) also really naive and superficial... They just don't seem to get that trauma can be a very real part of life... Their conversations about small-talk topics seem to boring, fake and stupid to me. So I've always been a) envious of people without trauma but b) also very judgemental of them.
I know that army people often seem to have a similar view of "civilians"... that they're naive and have no idea how bad real life can be...
I struggle to break out of that dynamic of being either envious or looking down on people without trauma...
I also feel resentful about them dominating the discourse... It feels like there's this constant push to keep normalcy at the forefront and to avoid and repress the reality of trauma in many people's lives. Which kind of feels like the lives of people with trauma and their struggles are being discounted and ignored.
I wonder how I can find a healthier stance for myself?
Can I feel compassion with them, because often people who have not experienced trauma are just people who have not experienced it "yet" ? Trauma has a way of touching most lives, in some way or other, over time.
How can I stop feeling like the "outcast" with trauma who's not part of the circle of "normal" people?
I think maybe these are narratives from my childhood, which I haven't updated to a useful adult model of the world... Probably in reality, there are far more people who have experienced trauma but who are struggling to lead a normal-as-possible life and I'm misunderstanding that as a "facade of normalcy" and a discounting of trauma...?
I'm sure many who grew up in such rough childhoods also remember looking at "normal" families who seemed to live some kind of Brady Bunch life... (Tho, looking back as an adult, who knows whether their lives were really like that or whether in some cases, it was just a facade).
I've always felt like those people are a) lucky but b) also really naive and superficial... They just don't seem to get that trauma can be a very real part of life... Their conversations about small-talk topics seem to boring, fake and stupid to me. So I've always been a) envious of people without trauma but b) also very judgemental of them.
I know that army people often seem to have a similar view of "civilians"... that they're naive and have no idea how bad real life can be...
I struggle to break out of that dynamic of being either envious or looking down on people without trauma...
I also feel resentful about them dominating the discourse... It feels like there's this constant push to keep normalcy at the forefront and to avoid and repress the reality of trauma in many people's lives. Which kind of feels like the lives of people with trauma and their struggles are being discounted and ignored.
I wonder how I can find a healthier stance for myself?
Can I feel compassion with them, because often people who have not experienced trauma are just people who have not experienced it "yet" ? Trauma has a way of touching most lives, in some way or other, over time.
How can I stop feeling like the "outcast" with trauma who's not part of the circle of "normal" people?
I think maybe these are narratives from my childhood, which I haven't updated to a useful adult model of the world... Probably in reality, there are far more people who have experienced trauma but who are struggling to lead a normal-as-possible life and I'm misunderstanding that as a "facade of normalcy" and a discounting of trauma...?