Feeling Like Someone Is Behind Me And Like People Are Going To Kill Me

[flutegirl1996]

So I have these 'episodes' when I start feeling like someone is behind me/on top of me and when that happens I can't stand anything touching me (not even my own hands). It usually lasts for an hour or two and I am terrified during that time.

There isn't anything in my past that has anything to do with feeling like that so I am slightly confused as to why it happens because it doesn't feel like a panic attack.

Recently I have been feeling this to a lesser degree a lot of the time and I don't seem to be able to shake it. Then today I felt like people were going to kill me and I don't want to be near anybody because they aren't 'safe'. I did try to rationalize that nobody was going to kill me but that seemed to make it worse.

Anyway I distracted myself and I feel better now but I was wondering if anybody else has experiences anything like this or knows why this might be happening?

 

[The Albatross]

I used to. It had to do with believing that people, situations, the world basically was unsafe. It was an extension of hypervigilance run amok. To turn it around I had to do some mindful challenges and put myself into situations or interactions with people where I could be aware and note afterwards that I was safe.

I had to change my core belief to calm down the re-activity and build new experiences over time that supported the newer, more personally beneficial thinking style.

 

[Reds]

I also had this and it got worse in 2011, I don't know why. I would literally start walking fast or run if there was someone behind me. I used to freak out a lot that I had to spend most of my days working from home. I couldn't sleep through the night as I would feel someone is in the room, I'd have to wake up and make sure it was just me in the house. I'd even check in the cupboards if the "person" could be hiding in there.

However I do not remember ever dealing with it, it just stopped. I am not even aware when it stopped.

 

[macca]

I've had this too, it's on and off, but happens way more when my symptoms are bad. If I feel that way what has helped me is to kind of "talk myself down" so to speak - because I feel like a little kid in terror, so I talk to myself like an adult comforting a child. I'll say to myself "it's ok, you're an adult now, nobody is going to hurt you" etc. That's prevented a panic attack or two for me, though I don't know if it works for others. I never used to do that, and my panic used to only subside once I was with a 'safe' person (usually my husband).

 

[Jenfa]

I don't think the terrors are only confined to childhood. I still have them but now it happens when I'm by myself. No matter where I am, if I'm alone (e.g. shopping alone, going for a walk) in the general public, I find myself gripping my car keys like I'm going to spontaneously turn into a key-whipping ninja with skills beyond what any thug could imagine. I never really knew why I did that. I thought maybe seeing awful things on tv everyday and past experiences had left a mark on my psyche. Sometimes I find myself marching through a dark parking lot like a marine, with the look of death on my face. Mission: Car. Interrupt mission: Exterminate. I don't mean to do it but it's more comfortable to do that than to run like hell like I'm five years old.

 

[macca]

Jenfa - I do that too! I go between the two, either the panic "run like hell" thing or the "ready to fight to the death" thing.

 

[gone]

Me too @Jenfa, @macca — Also I hear footsteps behind me all the time and have to compulsively turn around and no one's there. Even when I know there's nobody there I have to turn around. Sometimes I hear footsteps quite a way behind me and I comfort myself: That really is another person, but they're so far away I don't have to worry. Eventually though I turn and see there's nobody there.

I'm trying to develop a sense of humor about it.

Then of course when there really is someone behind me I don't hear them at all and jump and scream when they come alongside.