Feeling Like You Don't Deserve To Have Ptsd Or To Get Help

[wolfie205]

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to have PTSD or to even be in therapy. I just started on medications to help cope with the symptoms but I feel like my symptoms aren't severe enough for me to need medications. I ask myself if I should be able to cope with my symptoms with just therapy and without the medications. I tell myself that I shouldn't have PTSD because what happened to me wasn't really abuse. He was a kid who was only a few years older than me and he probably treated it as just a game. Though there was penetration, he didn't actually rape me. It was just a few times and it was quite mild so I shouldn't even be affected by it. I only started on medications a week go so if I don't want to continue, I can just not go back. I won't die without medications and I know I can sort of survive without them, they just make life a little more bearable for me and I don't have to avoid a lot of social situations. How do you know if you need medications or how bad or mild your symptoms are? My therapist keeps telling me that my symptoms are affecting me a lot and that I should be on medication because I deserve help. It's hard to listen to what he says sometimes because I don't believe it.

 

[Melody coates]

a lot of us can relate. we tend to minimize our trauma because that's our brain's way of being able to cope. if it doesn't seem that bad then it's not traumatizing. unfortunatley what happened yo you WAS traumatizing and it DOES affect you. you were violated when
that happened. no if, ands, or buts about it. Kids will be kids but that was unnacceptable. i have no doubt in my mind that he knew exactly what he was doing to you. I mean shit, i was a curious kid too but i never touched someone's private parts

 

[Spiderallis]

No one 'deserves' to have PTSD, but when traumas in the past have lasting effects that interfere with the present, it happens. When it happens, anyone and everyone deserves whatever help they may need. I think it may be low self esteem related to the trauma that's telling you otherwise. You deserve to live, not just survive. That's part of PTSD, getting stuck in survival mode gets in the way of living. You're having a normal reaction to not-normal circumstances. In order to keep going, your mind has done all sorts of gymnastics to twist around and protect the sore spots. You're in a safe place now, it's okay to open up and properly heal what's been hurt. You earned the help and tools you're being offered, and I'm sorry it took so long for you to have access to those things.

 

[darrenS]

In regards to medications, there are many differing views , some people here believe in them , some don't, some take them for their ptsd , depression , anxiety etc, some take nothing at all. It all gets down to what works for you and at the end of the day it is only you who can make the final decision about being prescribed a medication or not.

I suggest you read through the forums a bit as you will find several good posts from both sides of the aisle

 

[ghotiff]

Minimizing your trauma (as you describe) is a form of self denial which is a form of self protection.

Go slowly and try to be patent with yourself. What happened was not okay. You deserve help and support.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I used to say things like "it wasn't that bad", too. I still do sometimes. It doesn't work that way though. What you went through was a violation of you. It doesn't matter how he viewed the actions, you are clearly hurting from the event and that is all it takes to be "bad enough".

In terms of medications, it's all about what you feel comfortable with and what works for you. If you are feeling like the medication is helping, then go ahead and keep taking it. It doesn't have to be forever. I have battled with the idea of medication for over a year. It's not an easy path to navigate for me so I understand some of the turmoil you are feeling. I have decided that if I decide to take something it's going to be on the recommendation of a professional, but my decision to actually take it or not.

 

[Ronin]

Similar, I tend to say 'it was just life'. I've lived in countries where understanding even of things like depression was radically different (curse, the like), communities viewed it differently and treated it differently. While that addressed many issues in terms of emotions, identity crises, social connections, spirituality, it still didn't address the basic neurochemical imbalances and the way trauma affects the brain.

So I'm rather grateful for medical treatments being an option. Took me quite a while to change mindset about necessity of medication for these issues. Think though, people simply deserve help and support, and when it's available, it's more productive to seek it than not.

 

[hotrod351]

dont think i dont deserve it, but until now i just didnt care. but now i care and have plenty of time to devote to getting the benefits i deserve.

 

[Klo]

I think on the contrary, abuse and resulting trauma issues are a lot more common than most people are comfortable believing, so validation is scarce, and healing is much less common than it should be. It's only when people who have been traumatized through abuse start speaking up and taking a stand, and going through the process of healing (which improves the professionals who help us, through experience) that things can start to change. That's the only way abuse will ever be taken more seriously, that earlier intervention will begin, that millions of people who haven't even made it to the point of acknowledging their own pain will stand a chance of doing so. There have to be people who are willing to go first. Never forget that you're not just facing your pain for yourself, but also for millions of others. Don't make the mistake of whittling it down to whether or not your experiences were "that bad". Stay connected to your fellow humans on this planet, and remember that their validation and healing is also on the line. Would you tell a sexually abused child that it's not "that bad"? Didn't think so.

As for medication for PTSD, it can help some people get through especially rough patches, nothing wrong with it, if it helps you get to healing points. Just don't let anyone dope you up to the point of being numb, as that is an abuse in and of itself.

 

[Sideways]

Like any illness, PTSD isn't a label given to those who 'deserve' it, it's given to those who have been assessed by a medical practitioner as having particular symptoms associated with a traumatic event. You don't need to feel like you 'deserve' the label - if you've been diagnosed with ptsd, then you've got ptsd, that simple. You don't have to like it, you don't have to start feeling sorry for yourself, it's just a medical fact.

As to the meds - I hate meds. Hate them. And if I think I've been given meds that aren't helping, I talk to my doc about ceasing them. Again, it's not about what I deserve - it's about "do they make it easier"? If the answer is yes, then stop running up the stairs to get to the 20th floor and just get in the elevator and make your life easier for yourself:)

 

[Hush92]

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to have PTSD or to even be in therapy. I just started on medicat...

This is definitely a trap I feel a lot of us fall into....I think the important thing is to not compare yourself to others. We're all affected by different things differently. Don't feel bad for feeling bad about what happened, if that makes sense.

I was in a denial for a long time about the extent of what I experienced. (Especially since my PTSD wasn't caused from any life stressors, but rather from intense psychotic episodes and experiences I had to deal with, I hated myself for being traumatized by things then technically weren't even real) But I feel like I am finally overcoming that, and I feel that is really important if you truly want to help yourself. Do what's best for you.