Feeling Very Overwhelmed And Trying To Cope

[Nicole0317]

okay well this is confusing but so I always knew that I was s------u A----d
(Sorry can't say the word don't know why) but my T just told me that I was R---d <----- didn't really know what that was till today keep in mind I'm only 14
Any ways so now I'm having a very hard time coping with that and could use encouragement or something telling me that I will get back to my self or that at sometime in life this will all go away or most of it at least

 

[Ronin]

You are yourself, no matter what anyone did to you or ever will, you're not broken.

It won't go away, but it will get easier, and healing is possible.

What sort of support do you need now the most?

 

[hodge]

Oh, Nicole, I was raped when I was your age, too. Don't feel bad about yourself. It happens to grown women who aren't coping as well as you. I mean, at least you are going to therapy, and a lot of people don't. That is a huge positive. I can't tell you honestly that it will all go away, but the fact that you are getting help means, I think, that a lot of it might, eventually. You have your whole life ahead of you. Just keep taking care of yourself -- and learning to take better care of yourself with your therapist. And be patient with yourself. It took me years to learn to take care of myself, but because you're dealing with this now, it probably won't take that long for you.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

Its hard to know what to say and it is tragic to me. My prayers are with you sweetheart. It happened to me young to. Right now I will tell you learning more about self defense is really helping- very empowering- if you get the chance. Know you are far from alone and join us "warriors" to try to create a better future where men can not repeat this atrocity. It will always be part of your story, but you will rise above it. Keep your head up. Growing up should not have to include this. My daughter is your age. Man if I ever heard about someone doing it to her..argh. Just not right.

 

[Nicole0317]

It happened 8years ago I just know told someone @hodge so not sure if it will go away that quickly

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

You are incredibly brave and lucky to face it now. I feel like I've lost most of my life to dealing with the aftermath of my childhood sexual abuse. If only I had started to deal with it at your age ... Instead I am dealing with it nearly twenty years later, with twenty years lost to flashbacks and nightmares and panic. I know we don't know each other, but I feel proud that you are dealing with this now! If I only I had been that brave at your age ....

 

[Deleted member 24866]

So sorry sweet heart. Its a horrid thing to face- getting on the other side is what helps me through advocacy. My ex husbands now divorcing his new wife and accused him of hurting my baby girl at a point. (She didn't say anything till they were going through the divorce- but certain signs made me wonder at points and she denies it happened.. I have to take her word, or my soul is tortured not being able to do more to help her.) When I learned I questioned the woman on record- but later her she could not remember the story.. so again I have to believe this woman is a liar and trust my daughter here again to not make life awkward for her.. I did report it to social services and they questioned her and chose to dismiss it- but I know something is being looked into in that house as I have been warned I may be contacted as he was sexually abusive to me.- < what I am doing here is also known as projection.. I can see myself as your mother a bit- being the story is still vague- but I am here for you to talk to and crying for you right now sweetheart. ..Life is not always fair.. still my words to you are stay strong and keep fighting.. you have found a good community here and a ton of love. I would hold you now in my arms if I could~~ I would be with you in spirit every day to protect you if I could.. sometimes the world seems ugly but keep your eyes on that which is beautiful.. like you.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

My apologies for projecting into your feed. My respect.. and my love dear.

 

[hodge]

Even though it happened eight years ago, Nicole, you are still getting a good start. I was first attacked when I was 11 and never dealt with it until I was in my 40s, so, you're doing very well, dear!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

You can get better, just keep on pushing forward! The only way out is through. (Don't slip into denial, as you'll have to face it sooner or later.)

 

[Nicole0317]

I'm 14 and well I just heard news about what the actually definition of what happened to me was called and am having a hard time coping with it. And to add to that. It's hard to get better when I keep getting derailed by my nightmares, panick attacks, and memories which won't seem to get better and I'm feeling so overwhelmed with nervousness and anxiety because of all of this and feel like I'm just going in a down ward spiral :banghead: :nailbiting::bag::(

 

[Deleted member 24866]

take help when its offered sweety- and sometimes I know I have needed to step into a place to decompress safely like the hospital. Its not fun.. but it can help at points, as can medication. Try to be good to yourself. We all have to set some time aside to face the ugly truths - you are not alone and it will get better with time. For me it sometimes has helped to imagine the emotions as an invisible and painful wave.. I can somehow choose to disconnect and let it go through me.. it will stop eventually. Also I know I say it to much- but looking up binaural beats online and listening to some of them in the background for meditation has helped (only really while listening to them however..but doing so frequently helps hypothetically retain balance of brainwaves to counter the downsides) Even separating yourself when you are able from the actual event- I know this can be hard, but to learn more about psychology and a fascinating science to me of neuroplasticity.. that is the abiity to in essence rewire your brain..change.. it even works with people who have had strokes (and military personel have done experiments where supposedly they can learn to detect north- It is an amazing science.. the point is ..there is hope, but it is a path to sort out, and it will take time. Sending hugs~