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Fight or flight: i want to run from my life for no reason except ptsd

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I often want time to stop so I feel I can "catch up" while I work through past trauma. Likewise, I find myself wanting to run away to start fresh. I tried that once... unfortunately, my brain followed me :/ You're not alone. Even when we're no longer immediately in the trauma, we have work to do to heal ourselves. II know it's easier said than done, but tryt to be patient and kind to yourself.
 
In the beginning, I used to feel this way all of the time. I still feel it but it has lessened the more I accept it, and try coping mechanisms. When anxiety kicks in I'm always in fight or flight mode.
 
I want to run from normal non-ptsd stuff.

Can’t.

Do.

Normal.

Stuff.

Ptsd stuff?

That’s in the bag, baby!

I can take ptsd stuff head on.

Normal life stuff leaves me curled up in a ball on the floor.

Shhh...don’t tell this to the people who think I’m incredibly strong.
 
I've spent my entire life trying to run away from myself and life, If I was independently wealthy I think I may have been able to pull it off?, but to what end? Two years ago I hit the wall and walked away from everything and went into seclusion for almost a year, living in a remote bush camp only having minimal contact with others, as I tried to pull myself back together, ultimately realizing I needed to get help to work on getting housing, and stability in the community, so I could access services and treatment, but still on occasion will run away through poor coping mechanisms ie alcoholism, now I'm just exausted and tired of running by any means and just want to have a life, I'm working on it, lol :)
 
this post is old but i feel this all the time. i move to a new place and in a year (at the latest) am ready to move states again. i fantasize about quitting not only my job but my entire career path and just going. i feel disconnected from society, like i don’t belong here and never will. i can’t hold on to anything because i feel like i dont really exist and am always treading water without any clear direction to swim. the restlessness is terrible.
 
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