Fight With Ex Husbands Gf

[Kaii]

I got into a fight with my ex husbands new gf yesterday when I was picking up my son at school. She showed up there with one of my other children(who my ex husband refused to bring back after his allotted weekend with him ended). She was there to pick up her own son who also goes to that same school.

When I saw her walk up with my child, that I hadn't seen in four days, the anger that coursed through me was so intense that I'm sure if I had a bat, I would of beat her to death.

We got into a screaming fight until someone tried to break it up and I called the police because I didn't think that she was going to let me leave with my OWN child that I have physical custody of. I did leave with him though, goddamit. She would of had to break my arms and legs before I allowed her to leave with him again.

It was so ugly but now that its over and my son is home again, my ANXIETY is through the roof. Every little sound I hear, is her out to get me. Every time the phone rings, it's my ex husband calling to try and get our son away from me. Every time the doorbell rings, it's my ex husband with a gun, etc, etc, etc.

I stayed up last night just listening and waiting. I'm so scared, I don't know what to do. The police won't help because they say it's a family matter that has to be decided in family court. So, unless one of us gets physically assaulted or threatened, they will not do anything.

I have the kids here with me and I just want to runaway with them.

I do not see my lawyer until Saturday. I don't know what to do but I feel like I'm going crazy with racing thoughts and anxiety. Over and over in my head..

 

[catjudo]

You need to get yourself pulled together. Call your therapist for help if you have to. You're not going to like what I say, but it's not okay to engage in a screaming fight, especially one that escalates to the point that other people feel the need to break it up, and all of this at your children's school. That is not the sort of thing you should be exposing any children to (yours or other kids at the school).

Personally, if I had been in this situation, I would have tried to take a light approach in front of the kids but still making it clear that you expected to take your child with you. Something like..."Oh, thanks for bringing (child's name). Sweetie, I've missed you. I sure hope you had fun...I can't wait to get home and catch up with you." Even if you know that's not why she brought the child to school with her, it's light and makes it clear that your expectation is that the child is going home with you. If the other woman started to cause a scene or indicate that she wasn't going to turn the child over to you...that's when you call the police for assistance. Screaming and yelling in front of the kids is not he way to handle things.

Sorry, that's just my opinion. I am divorced from my child's father. He was abusive toward her during our marriage. He has made many bad choices before, during and after our divorce. But I never talk badly about him in front of my daughter. I always protect her, but never let her see or hear us disagree. She shouldn't have to deal with that on top of everything else.

 

[The Albatross]

Restraining order? Was anything she said sufficient to get one? And I absolutely would document your ex's refusal to bring back the child after his scheduled visit.

So very sorry this happened to you. The adreneline shot and fears are ramping you up... can you have a friend or family member spend some time with you? I hope your child is okay too.

 

[Kaii]

She actually approached me first and started yelling. But you are right, it was not appropriate at the school with all the other parents and children there. I am ashamed and embarrassed to have to go back there now to pick up my children.

But you don't understand what this woman has done to my children while they are visiting their father and I won't get into it here but suffice to say that Child Protective Services has been involved. My children hold on to the car door handle when I drop them off there and cry for me to take them home.

There was no way I was letting my son leave with her.

 

[The Albatross]

Kaii, I just hope that your lawyer can do something. If CPS is already involved, is the incident also reportable to them?