Find Your Own Opinion? Is It Possible?

[Red Feather]

Apparently since my crisis and PTSD diagnosis, I have become a thousand times more sensitive. I wasn't like this before. Even when people who are telling me their opinion on this forum, I feel obliged to believe everything everybody says. When somebody tells me their opinion, especially regarding sensitive subject, I can easily get triggered. I spoke to the social worker about this today. It is something to work on... to be able to keep one's own opinion when confronted with different opinions... Or even to develop your own opinion in the first place.



I do not have a huge amount of debt. Actually I should be able to handle it, if I was not doomed to stay on disability and had a bit of a better income. Nevertheless, all the social workers and debt councillors say to me, that I have to file for bankruptcy. I am actually dreading this. It could be used as another argument against me, if I choose to fight for custody in court for my children.

My mother, who emotionally abused me as a child, is aggresive when she speaks about something she has a clear opinion of. For me it becomes aggressive, and I can quickly shut down on her and hang up the phone. It also makes me feel as if her opinions are taking over mine. So I shut down rather than getting into a fight.

She doesn't think it is a good idea for me to file for bankruptcy. She thinks I should bargain with the creditors. I told her about my concern about going to court. That makes her very emotional, and then I listen, and want to rebel agains her opinion, just because she is so aggresive.

So this happens in a lot of my relationships. I ask peoples opinions... they tell me... and then I feel obliged to do what that person says, and can then prefer to take the opposite route. My boundaries are so enormously weak!!!! I don't even know what I think about regarding this matter. What is my opinion? 

Well, just wanted to share this. Something I am just noticing.

 

[piratelady]

For me, I have found that I no longer trust my own opinions. Someone asks me to make a decision. I have an opinion, but I begin questioning it, wondering if what I want to do is the right decision or if I will just make another mistake. I am sorry that I don't have some advice for you, I am still learning to trust myself. I'm sure someone on here will be able to offer a suggestion though :)...but know that you're not alone :hug:

 

[Queen Boudica]

Yes, that is a hard one. I always want to have my opinions validated, otherwise they could be wrong. But I think sometimes there is no such thing as right or wrong, just something in between and that is hard to get at.

Mindfulness, that is supposed to help. I am not at that stage, a lot of the time I am trying to go with my gut but will doubt myself if someone starts to agressively argue but then, if I go back and think about it I will feel unhappy about what I am being persuaded into, but still not sure of myself. I need someone to validate me.

But Mindfulness techniques I think are supposed to help you decide on things. Can't recommend a book or site but I am sure there are others on here who have better suggestions.

How about finding out if bankruptcy actually does affect your right to your children? I'm not sure. Plenty of people are crap at managing finances, but make brilliant parents. Does the court take that into consideration?

 

[Whitneys story]

Nadia, This is excellent. And not easy. You are learning that you have your opinion. You just need to keep questioning. Your opinion comes first.

My view on opinions, they are like arse's everyone has one. What I say to others is, respect my opinion regarding me with facts and knowledge. Unless someone has worn my shoes they can not possibly judge me.

People will offer advice but you should take what you are comfortable with and leave the rest. You should never feel guilty for not accepting anothers opinion!

This was why I recommended making your list. You have so much on your plate. It is not possible to resolve everything in a few days. Writing it all out gives you direction and focus. You then have a pro and con list of how you want to proceed.

My mother did not want me to divorce my Ex who was convicted for his abuse! She had been traumatised by her parents divorce. She stayed married to a violent man at the expense of all of us. Just because she is mother does not make it right! Keep posting girl you are gaining. Big Hugs Whitney