Finding Creativity

[InsideAWord]

I've had multiple traumas in my life -- some I have conquered, others I have not. We (my therapists and I) are working on this.

My most recent trauma has stifled some of my creativity. I can create visual art, but that is not my most beloved art. My art lies within the realm of creative writing, more specifically poetry.

Since my most recent trauma, I find it difficult to write. Does anyone else have this problem? Or, are there any other creative souls out there who have endured the same struggle and can offer some advice? Verses used to pour out of me until I couldn't even sometimes keep up. However -- the creative voices have gone a bit silent. Advice?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am so sorry that I have no advice for you but can only empathize. I used to love to write and to draw and find that I have lost the passion and the drive to multiple traumas as well. I sure hope you get some good advice to help you on your way and I will be watching so I can learn as well. What a great thread. Thank you.

 

[desiderata310]

Long ago, I used to paint. I haven't in years. Partially because of trauma, partially because I was so beaten down by my ex and his constant berating of me and my painting, that I lost the courage.
I don't think I can get that back.
I hope you find your muse again.

 

[Friday]

I write, take pictures, and play in the mud.

Meds have messed up all 3 (although not usually all 3 at the same time, it's usually that I don't have access to 1, but the other 2 are peachy). So has personal stuff.

For myself, when it's personal stuff, it just hurts too damn much. It reminds me of when I was happy, and that makes me suicidal. Which may or may not make sense. But I learned last Christmas "why" people kill themselves. It's not because they aren't happy. It's because they remember what happy felt like. And the disparity between then and now hurts too damn much.

That actually makes it dangerous for me to be doing XYZ. It's not about reclaiming it, it's about protecting myself. I still have "it". I'm just not in a place where its healthy for me to be doing it.

In my experience, I always go back eventually. Life gets better, or I change meds, or whatever. How long eventually is? That's outside of my ken.

 

[Chava]

I'm a musician. And I do some painting and just a bit of writing (I need lots of art!). At least for me, I know trauma stuff has a way of making me feel disconnected. I can do music, like play the same Bach I've played for years, on auto-pilot but I can't create much of my own, especially if I'm in a numbed-out or depressed phase. It's like a spiritual death. When I have the energy, I seek out new inspiration, whether art exhibits, concerts, workshops, finding a new writer or artist who inspires me. It's like I need to be hooked up to oxygen in my art/spirit life sometimes.

So all I can say is keep working in therapy and, probably easier said than done, but try to give yourself a break and simply nourish your soul. You might come across new inspiration that will fuel something unexpected later on. Or try some other arts, like art journaling or collaging. For me, working in different mediums helps me form different symbols when I need them, and that seems to open up either new insight or language. It doesn't matter if it's a form I'm good at or not...it's the exploration that counts...and this is one way I've always been able to be kind to myself. I don't give up on my artsy play, I just have to mix it up sometimes. It's largely how I keep myself somewhat connected versus a huge scatter of pieces.

I don't know what kind of poetry you write, but even dabbling with different forms? I was surprised to find I really loved the challenge and simplicity of pantoume (sp?) writing for a while. I only needed a couple simple images and nicely-ringing phrases. But it was odd because I'm so highly random...and that highly structured form allowed me to work with some images in really musical ways....sort of repetitive, like the trauma brain.

Sorry you're going through this. I hope therapy and time help you heal...and in the meantime, maybe your creative work can involve extra digging for soul food, whether through new music, other arts, different kinds of writing, photography, whatever keeps your creative spirit somehow intact.

 

[Sammyiam]

Hi insideaworld,

I am very sorry also, and you don't seem to be getting any positive answers, I am going to add to the list of other people that have the same problems as you. I own my own gallery and produce all the work for it, I have been going to close the whole thing down so many times in the last year it isn't funny, I want to work and have great intentions of starting work tomorrow but tomorrow never comes for me, all I get is odd days here and there that I work a little to just scrape bye.

I used to work all day every day never ever stop I lived in my shed, know sometimes I goes weeks and weeks and I carn't even unlock the door:(

I hope you find some answers, as it may help me also . Good luck

 

[RussH]

@InsideAWord Could this be a simple case of writer's block? I know that it happens to most writers, and sooner or later the block seems to lift, and they are able to write again.

Otherwise, try writing about your most recent trauma, and maybe through that you can discover why you are having this difficulty.

I hope you are able to figure it out, and maybe share a poem with us.

 

[franciemarnie]

A new world could be in gestation within you. This happened to me. I wrote for decades. It was good, almost there, but I see now - not quite.

I didn't write at all for a while. Got interested and involved in other things. Read a great deal, especially new subjects of interest.

Then one day BOOM! I've written four books in five years.

I think there is something going on under the surface of you, a new direction possibly, a new voice, new ideas. Be open to whatever catches your eye that interests you and follow that. Your artistic soul is there. It never dies. I think you are going to give birth to something new. So take good care of yourself. Something's coming!!

 

[Hope4Now]

I used to be a painter and write fiction. The painting is totally blocked and I haven't touched my unfinished novel for five years. I have been really dead creatively. Then about two years ago I started taking pictures. Then this winter I started writing poetry. Just recently, I've finished an essay. It feels
Good to have a little creative vitality again. It will happen for you too.

You have the creativity in you. Try to be gentle and nurturing to yourself. As others have said, maybe try another expressive form. Whatever parts of you that fed your poetry may just need some rest and gentling for a while. The linguistic music in you won't go away. Take time to nourish yourself in other ways.

 

[NarcSis]

I echo what Hope4Now says, creativity is something that resides inside of you and if one channel is blocked, just find another one to take it's place.

I hit writer's block so many times it's not even funny. I have a zillion unfinished stories and there are days when I just can't muster the energy to write a single word, so I turn to my paints and I just "mess around". Don't try to create, don't have a goal, just do and be.

I've learned that when my creative flow is mucked up, I need to find it's outlet, this is why I have several options available to me at all times - crochet, crafting, beading, needlepoint, guitar, sketching and if all else fails, dance or sing. I've learned all of these things since my trauma, (other than the painting). My house is a veritable storehouse of unfinished projects and I have to be okay with that, they'll get finished when they get finished.

Best advice to a writer? Sit down and write words. They don't have to make sense, just random words, no punctuation, no structure, just whatever comes to mind. Do keep in mind that you have to be okay with letting go, try yoga and be zen about the whole situation, if trauma is activating you too much to harness your creativity, work to calm the body and the mind will follow. Hugs and luck to you.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I can't sing anymore, since the trauma. I used to sing all the time as a kid, it was part of dealing with the situation. I had a good voice, was one the best singers in my class. And then, when the abuse ended: I couldn't sing anymore. Sometimes I try, but I manage only a couple of words sung.

My writing skills have never dried up though, and I'm thankful for that. I guess you can learn to write again, once the emotional blockade disappears. I also would like to one day sing naturally again.

 

[StellaBlue]

A couple of people have suggested trying different forms of writing...which I think is a great idea. I make "fiber art" and when I was deeply depressed, I had absolutely no ability to create. In order to keep with it and to help self-soothe, I found a pattern for paper piecing a small piece. Paper piecing from someone else's pattern really involves no creativity (except for fabric selection), but it kept me making "something" and kept my hands and mind busy...plus I ended up with a pretty cool piece :).

With writing, you might try doing a very structured type of poetry - maybe a haiku or senryu or tanka.