Fired As A War Correspondent

[warcorrespondent]

Hello,

After having being fired as a war correspondent, I diagnosed myself with ptsd - now confirmed by my docs.

Does anyone here, have the same rejection ungratefulness-feelings, that nearly killed you.

Have found passion again, being a nature photographer again, but cannot stop the racing thoughts. What is it, that it sometimes starts as a hell shower, and then stops suddenly, why do we dream one night about the genocide in Ruanda, being captured and raped in Gaza, and the other night goes well. Is this chemical?

Love and support to all of you,

A

 

[amethist]

Hi warcorrespondent

Welcome to the forum.

It may be a good idea for you to read the articles on the Home Page, you will find some of the answers you are looking for there. If you read some of the other members post you will also find how they now manage their own issues with ptsd.

You can post some of you photo's on you Profile page if you like, we would love to see what you do.

Good luck and take care.

Amethist

 

[reallydown]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum. Lot's of great info here...and people who understand.

 

[Farine]

Hello!
Welcome to the forum... I'm new too. My welcome is a bit different than everyone else's. I've experienced rejection in real life in marriage. You've had it as well. I can gather from your post that you identified very strongly with your job because it's also your handle here. I'm sorry you lost your job. I don't know about racing thoughts other than when my children are fighting and I'm trying to quick come up with a solution so I don't have to pass out consequences. I WILL pass out consequences, it's just that they fight quite a bit and I'd rather not parent that strictly, frequently.

But getting back to you, I wonder who you are when you are not taking photographs or observing mankind at his worst? For me, when I was being rejected, I had something to put in front of the rejection in that I was a person before I was married. I did things with friends and enjoyed going to new places. I [usually] enjoy parenting and spend a lot of time with my children. That was stlil in my life. What about you? For you to be selected at all for this demanding position, tells me that you are highly competent. You'd have to be to have any success at it at all. The 'ungratefulness' component you mention hints that your excellence was not appreciated properly.

So, my curiosity hums in the background. A highly competent individual might be convinced that your worth is not a matter of one's performance, per se. Your worth in inherently stored in your person. You matter. End of discussion. It is a loss that this fact escaped others. I sincerely hope it has not passed you by.

Nice to meet you. Looking forward to reading more about you.

 

[ISupportHer]

Welcome,

I hope you are seeking professional help. I am not a sufferer but I would bet that most would share that seeking help is necessary. I mean, some can't do much due to finances, but wish they could. Maybe I am off base but you say you diagnosed yourself. And I only say what I do because I am thinking of what, admittedly MY opinion, is best for you.

Glad you are here and God speed in your healing process.

ISH

 

[Grama-Herc]

Welcome to the forum. While I am not a combat person, our issues are the same. You will find many combat vets here to help you get a handle on this.

Wishing you peace, Grama Herc

 

[anni]

Hi and I hope this forum and it's many lovely people help you find some peace while you find some healing.

Your foray into nature photography sounds like some really healthy self-healing endeaver, oh my! It's amazing how creative outlets can help, and nature photography in particular seems to me to be something which would provide a fabulous op for regaining some peace in your life.

You'll probably find that that whole rejection 'thing', and how completely devastating it feels can be pretty familiar here. Everyone is a little different, I know, but one of the dynamics is a definite tendency to just plain feel awfull about yourself, judged and 'worthless', and somehow shamed. 'It' is terribly pervasive and debilitating, I know, as to a ton of others here. I don't have your trauma, but do have that whole pile of dreck. Validation helps to begin with, so thought I'd at least post and let you know.

Therapy of course is the best way to start being kind to yourself plus you've already begun some really positvie self healing creatively so seem to be headed in a great direction even if it doesn't feel that way.

Please do come back if you can, even if you're not up to posting. Everyone is different there as well, but it really is helpful to just not be alone with this rotten thing.

Take care,

Anni