First Flashback In A Long Time...

[AmbulanceGirl21]

I was in the kitchen last night fixing some dinner, and the tv was on in the next room ..I wasn't even paying attention to whatever was on, then I heard a males voice saying "sshhhh" That was when it hit me, I just froze, because I remembered him putting a finger over my lips and telling me to "shh" while he was grinning. It didn't send me into a panic attack..thank God, but it definitely startled me. That also explains why I can't stand for anyone to touch my face especially around my mouth. I hate it!

 

[cherryblossom]

I get similar effects. It can be a word, or a smell, or a sight.

I think it's a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. But you did well, to recognise it, and not go into full blown panic - you should be praising yourself, not beating yourself up over this. The word 'Shh' will probably always have some sort of negative affect over over you - but the more you hear it, and don't overly react to it, the less the effect will be. It's a type of exposure therapy. It's just that when it's a word said by others, or a smell we might come across we don't control the exposure. But being able to control the response to that exposure is a good thing. Well done :tup:

 

[Srain]

It's so unnerving to have a flashback. I think what Cherryblossom said is so important.The stopping and confronting the flashback and your reaction, that's exactly what I'm working on - if I understood that right, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm working on that myself, instead of 'going away' or rather Dissociating when the flashbacks hit. That's a really HUGE step you made :)

Rain

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm trying to do similar Srain. Instead of stuffing the thought away, or allowing panic to take over, it's actually allowing yourself to mindfully allow yourself to feel what you feel. Not so easy if you are out and about in public, but if you are home, then I've found it a little easier. I have spent years and years trying to push thoughts and memories or flashbacks from my mind, or dissociating - it doesn't work. My T is encouraging me to sit with those feelings for a short time, being mindfully aware of what is going on for you both physically and mentally, whilst also grounding yourself. And to write down those thoughts and feelings. It's not easy, after years of trying to push those thoughts from my head, but hopefully it will help lessen my reactions over time.

 

[ronin47]

I love cherryblossom's perspective. I think that is something I have begun to do inadvertendly. I'm sorry that happened to you, it must've been so frightening. Sounds are a bad one for me too. Certain individual words set me off on a daily basis, it's really annoying. Give yourself permission to experience those emotions but at the same time be proud of the progress you've made.

 

[Ted Moen]

The process of becoming aware of our triggers is so central in the process of learning to live with ptsd. It is the step that allows us to begin to feel control of our behavior. Before we become aware (or mindful) of our triggers, a feeling just seems to come out of nowhere and overwhelm us. We do what we do. It all happens so fast. We probably kill (figuratively hopefully) the person that seemed to have caused the intense feeling then withdraw with a lot of guilt and self-criticism. If we are aware (mindful) of our triggers, we say to ourselves "Oh, there it is again" and we know why we are feeling the intense feelings and don't need to kill whoever is in front of us.

As an inpatient I made a list of my triggers as they occurred and periodically reviewed the list. Then anytime I had to participate in anything that made me feel apprehension, I would review the list, identifying specific triggers I might expect to encounter. Then I would review the tools we learned to manage specific symptoms the triggers would probably generate. It was awkward at first, but after a while I developed confidence that I could participate in relationships and activities without loosing control of my behavior.

Good job of identifying one of your triggers and not acting out the intense feeling in your current situation!!

Ted