First Memory Dream Followed By First Flashback

[RainbowKazoos]

I've been dealing with doubts regarding my childhood and whether or not I've been abused since 2013, but I believe last week I had an actual memory come back. I'm worried it's my mind just playing tricks on me, even still. Would that be possible? Both my therapist and my psychiatrist think something happened to me as a child, but still... I don't wanna jump to conclusions.
The dream was awful. I have many, many nightmares and have for around four years. I can generally deal with them, but this one was different. It was like a continuation of flickering memory that's always been in the back of my head. It was so real and vivid and terrifying.
Then yesterday, I think I experienced a flashback. I was propelled full force back into the dream while I was walking down the street, simply because someone smelled like my abuser.
I'm terrified. I am in the most wonderful relationship of my life, and I'm in school, and I'm advocating for mental illness, I don't want everything to fall apart but it feels like it's about to.
Can anyone please offer any tips on dealing with flashbacks? I can't have them be so intrusive. But I'm wondering if that's unavoidable?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Jnean]

I want to say I'm truly sorry your having to deal with all of this. My T would always remind me that my mind won't remember anything that I can't process. I don't know though, I think it's different for everyone. My flashbacks came over two years time. I had lots of therapy during those two years. I had memories or so I thought just as you described, and body memories which were really difficult at first. My T really helped me to have tools to use to get through this stuff, like how to bring myself to the present for example. I couldn't have done it alone. What worked for me was having a safe place that i could imagine being at, smelling, hearing, tasting if need be, seeing, and feeling (touch). Like a waterfall or top of a mountain. Plus I used this forum a lot. I felt so alone otherwise and even still a lot. I know my PTSD isn't cured. I have gotten through alot. I feel like it can get really scary but it does get better. I feel like once my mind remembered and my body and the flashbacks came and went, now its not nearly as often, but it was tough for a while. I'm sorry I don't know if this is helpful. Hugs if you accept.