Relationship First Post Here And I'm Looking For Help With Combat Veteran

[ds112496]

StrongHeart, I got a lawyer the day I was served. In TX you only have until the 1st Monday after 20 days to respond with a counter. That was back the beginning of September...he still has not responded. My lawyer doesn't understand why his would say not to talk to me. She said that possibly he is just saying it to upset me especially since he is in Afghanistan. I am trying to get a temporary order to ensure that I have money to pay the bills. He never told me what I would be getting so it has been difficult to plan. Thankfully this month he gave me enough to cover the bills. We are sending something to his lawyer and if he agrees to it we won't need to go to court. I am just surprised that he hasn't responded to the counter. He was the one who wanted this so one would think he would spell out exactly what he wanted when it comes to property and visitation. It's hard to wait but I don't want to force his hand by saying what I want. I am interested to see what he comes up with on his own.

I am definitely not going to let him take advantage of me. If anything his actions will show just how much I actually did. He has no clue how to manage a household, money, etc... It's hard to let go of everything that he and I planned together but I know it is what I have to do. I am not letting go of the man I married, I am letting go of who he has become. I don't wish him ill will and hope that he finds what he is looking for. In the end he is going to have to take responsibility for his behavior and anything that happens on his journey.

 

[StrongHeart]

I am not letting go of the man I married, I am letting go of who he has become.

Wow. Powerful words, ds.

 

[amethist]

I am not letting go of the man I married, I am letting go of who he has become.

I understand these words ds. The man I married has gone and is not coming back. Its hard to learn how to love them again, once the PTSD hits.

 

[dimplesg520]

Hi Dixie,

Kind of a different point of view here that I thought was maybe worth sharing? My guy has severe PTSD and depression, and had struggled through many of those isolating periods, especially after an argument with me. I understand that this may not work for everyone, and everyone may not agree, but I thought I would share what happens with us. I try to do what you were saying for a little bit, being extra supportive, giving him space, etc. and sometimes it does work, and he comes around. Other times, days and days go by where he is extremely rude, snotty, isolates himself, and is just generally not a fun person to be around. I have found that at those times, tough love works best for us. If I let it go, he will go on for as long as he feels like ignoring me and the dogs and being rude, but if I am rude back and do a little tough love, he usually snaps out of it, realizes what a jerk he was being, and we talk about our issues and move on. Again, it may not work for everyone, but if I am a little forceful and rude back, the same way he is being to me, it usually gets him to realize how awful he is being. Like everyone said, sufferers usually don't understand why they're acting a certain way or how to stop it or what they need... so sometimes seeing me treat him the way he is treating me gets him to see it and figure out what exactly is wrong. Worth a shot maybe.

Gabbi