First Time Out In Public In Years

[Bookoffee]

Today I had to spend 8 hours by myself in the public in years. I have already taken 2 Valiums to try and calm down buy it is not working. Every inch of my body is tensed up and I am freaking out

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Kudos for taking this step!

Do you know any self-soothing/grounding things to do? Thinking about math helps me - it pulls me out of my emotional brain and into my adult logical brain. Some people count items (how many orange things can I see?). One member here has an intricate way of breathing in and out of alternate nostrils in a pattern. Others visualize their safe place and 'go there' internally. There are all sorts of things you can do.

Sometimes, even putting a can of cold sold on the neck helps.

What grounding exercises do you like?

Ben

 

[Bookoffee]

I sprayed my pillow with my sent that always helps. I put on a cooking show to remind me of my goals and favorite hobby. I have played with the animals and I took a hot shower for close to an hour.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

Those are all great things!

How about your Safe Place? Do you have one? If not, can you make one up quickly? Even a walk-in closet can be a great emergency safe place; put lots of blankets, pillows, stuffies, books...anything that helps, in there.

Ben

 

[Bookoffee]

I am doing better now. I visited a cousin page to look through the wedding pictures of her son. Beautiful. I cried on the pictures of her dancing with her son.

She went through a year of hell fighting cancer so to see her dancing with her son was amazing. She was radiant. How can that not warm the heart.

I started to talk with a different cousin and we are sharing ideas on how to cut and style my hair. It is my 20 year anniversary of donating and I want to embrace my inner child. I have never colored or did anything fancy with my hair. It is mostly tied up.

Wanting to embrace the child in, I was always into mermaids and fairies so I want to have blue and purple highlights.

My muscles are relaxed, my breathing is better and my thoughts have calmed.

Thank you

 

[Sideways]

Been rooting for you in the background because this was a little too close to the bone to get involved with.

But so you know, this was awesome and inspiring and heartbreaking and so many things all at once. This kind of thread is the reason I love this forum. When it all just feels too hard, I come here and people like you have courageously shared stuff like this and there's a small part of my brain that kicks back into gear and whispers, "There is always hope".

Thank you. Standing ovation coming from Ragdoll's corner.

 

[Bookoffee]

Thank you @Ragdoll Circus you helped me feel better this morning. I had a lot of night terrors last night but I am ready for my coffee and my favorite Saturday CBS Dream Team with Lucky Dog and Dr. Chris. Then I am going to bake cookies and Whoopie Pies.

It will be a good day. A dream is only a dream, I am safe.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better.

Now, I hope you 'make a memory', so that, if you ever get that anxious again, you can remember that "this, too, shall pass." It really helps to remember that we've 'been there, done that', and come through safely; such memories assure us that we can manage yet again. :)

 

[Bookoffee]

Thank you @BuckarooBanzai I am in a heavy haze this morning. The nightmares are so intense that I am having a hard time shaking it.

My wife is under a lot of stress with projects so I am going to give her all the space she needs until I am back to my 'real' age. I am having a very hard time trying to comprehend what she is asking and needing from me. It is like I am in a foreign country and no knowledge of their language.

She has a couple boxes left over from one project so I am going to make a fun playhouse for my cats.

I haven't been back outside since Friday so I may try to go back out at some point today. At the point I don't want to take on to much.