Five Weeks To Get This Fixed

[freakofnurture]

The problem is this: I'm on my way to becoming a nurse. This means weeks of school alternating with weeks of practical lessons.
I just barely made it through my first block of school (small room full of people, 7 hours nonstop). Wednesday was a horror trip. Seven hours on the verge of a panic attack. On thursday and friday I doped myself with lorazepam that my psychiatrist luckily prescribed me, but aside from taking the edge off my fear it made me tired and stupid. Plus lorazepam is a benzo and thus addictive. So this is no long term solution.
I've got five weeks of practical lessons in front of me. Less people, a lot more space, tons of opportunities to be alone for a moment. I will be okay. But somehow I have to find a way to manage my fear of being in a room with many people so I'll be at least kind of okay during the next school block as well.
I'm already doing exercises like visualising a bubble of light around me. It doesn't help much. Breathing excercises do nothing for me. And I cannot zone out for the entire school day, that would be suspicious.
I know there's more that I could try. Anyone care to tell me?

 

[anni]

Hi FN,

It took me a minute before the coin dropped on your user name! That's awfully good, if self deprecatory. Is that a word? There's a word like that, which escapes me if that's not it. :)

My step-daughter is in the middle of that exact scenario for her RN, and it's shredding her without the PTSD overlay. She does, however, have IBS, which of course kicks up under stress so ended up going to see her student advisor. Having to leave the room suddenly apparently isn't looked on kindly in your classes. She was able to have now an understanding in place, because of an 'official' diagnosis, that this may be the case from time to time and will suffer not negative consquences for her periodic, temporary fleeing of the scene, as it were. At her school they really were very good about it, and dealt with the whole thing unobtrusively for her. If you're in a nursing program, clearly have an abundance of thought processes functioning VERY well, so maybe you've already gone this route and it wasn't possible in your case. I just thought I'd out it out there, in case it would be something helpful at your school. Perhaps a break, a cold drink of water, a few moments of peace would be helpful to weather this thing.

Take care, and much good wishes for the exams in the end!

Anni