General Flashbacks - Here We Go Again!

[Kathy]

Oh my Grace 2 weeks is a dreadfully long time. I do hope you have someone with you when you are going through these episodes, as you still need to eat, bathe and so on (my apologies, the mother in me came out for a moment there!). Kers, Lisa, Pandora, and Hodge - thank you ever so much for sharing your experiences. It certainly helps us to understand better what Evie is going through. You have helped us to feel a little less anxious. Since Evie's surgery, we naturally have some paranoia regarding organic brain issues vs. PTSD symptoms. Regardless of the cause, it sounds quite frightening and my heart goes out to all of you.

Evie is much improved this morning, more like herself although still quiet, so I believe the worst of it is over with. She is spending the day quietly, playing video games and resting. I feel rather embarrassed to say so, however - when we asked Evie this morning is she knew why she had become so ill suddenly, she pointed to the calendar. And oh my, suddenly I remembered, October 14th is Eric's birthday! Well no wonder. I certainly feel silly having made fun of Jim for not remembering dates, when I forgot a very important one myself! :wall:

Thanks again all, your support during the last day has been much appreciated!

 

[becvan]

I hope the appointment comes quick. Please keep us updated!

bec

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Bec, I hope so as well. As I said she is doing better, however last night she had her feelings hurt by something said in an email and she is still hurting this morning. I do hope this is not going to be another long lasting hurt. I feel quite helpless to do anything about it if it is. All I know is I desperately want to see her happy!

 

[Damiea]

I think thats all anyone wishes for someone who has been through so much in their life.. particuarly when its a young person. People can be so insensative and sometimes just plane cruel just out of carelessness and not understanding. I hope your whole family finds the peace and happyness you are working so hard to find!

 

[Kathy]

We have talked to her, and she is somewhat better, not so hurt any longer. I believe we shall simply keep talking things out with her as much possible as it does help.

 

[Jen]

Hi Kathy sorry to hear that Evie is upset by something in an email? Do you know what it was?
If my daughter got an email that upset her I know she would be upset and she does not have all the problems that Evie has had to endure.
I suppose what I am saying they are the same age they are young ladies and they do have feelings!
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Yes I saw the email in question. Evie generally shows us any correspondence which disturbs her. I feel very fortunate for that as there are some very odd people out there! I am afraid for her at times.

You know Jen, it is an excellent point you make, thank you. Evie is a young lady and would likely have strong feelings about certain issues regardless of the PTSD. I fear I am guilty of forgetting that fact. Lately I have been so worried for her, due to the surgery, the neurologist requesting we watch her and so on. It's difficult to weed through what's normal and what isn't. We've had so many boys in this house, I am used to dealing with boys. Evie is the only girl, and as you know girls are very different. I was 24 myself once but it seems so long ago! Was I ever that young? :wink:

 

[Damiea]

LOL its funny I sort of think of the same thing with me.. I have 2 girls.. never had any boys and I think omg I wouldn't know what to do if I ever had a boy!! I pray I don't end up taking him out in pig tails or anything if I ever do have a boy!! lmao!
But as to Evie I would say you are doing the best thing you can do to suport her.. just have an open comunication line between the two of you. If it is "girl" issues that upset her then you being another female will be a comfort to her as someone to turn to for advice and understanding. I would think that growing up with lots of brothers might make girl issues harder for her to work out then say if someone was bullying her or something that she could respond to as she would if it was her brother doing it.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Is it typical during flashbacks to go into a sort of catatonic state? Evie does this, and it's quite different from being silent/withdrawn when suicidal. Difficult to explain but rather like being catatonic or concussed. It is most distressing to watch.

Wish I had taken the time to come read the carer section before my PTSD sec post. I can say yes. Apparently as I have to be told when mine happen I do not always express anything. I am just curled up throwing up at times and in the past day or two (I am having so little sleep and enough flashbacks I have lost major time). I have had more flashbacks since my last flashback posting/question. I have disassociated hard but I am so out there I do not fear not coming out. I want out but I am so out I don't fear it if that makes a bit of sense. So I cannot say I really know how bec feels as I only feel fear of it once out... Will I have an attack and not come back question. But back to the flashbacks which are very different you can be in a zone as I call it. You are very unaware and non responsive. I am sure it is horrifying to see. I would be horrified from what is described I do, or don't. What can you do? Let it happen. Once it happens there is nothing that can be done but let it play out. Be there after the fact.

Personally I think the non responsive flashback is better. I forget so much and I just feel the latter emotional drain. Losing time is no fun but IMO it is a lot easier than recalling the trauma and remembering reliving it. Boy it sucks hard.

She has had so much on her plate from the few post I do read of her life so I cannot pin point it. But please know she got a car for her birthday too! This is great right? I am sure she is totally loving it. And it is good stress. Good stress can cause a collapse just as fast as a bad one. You have to add in she probably really wants to drive the bugger out of it and is so happy she has it. Good stress but it still has the same reaction as bad. We just respond that way. So I hope you and other carers see when things are turning for the better we can still respond badly. Look at the stress cup of Anthony's and see what major improvements are going on too and add it to the cup. Everything has to be a snail pace good and bad. Any anniversary? Any unnoticed yellow? What is touching off the emotional response? Just things to think about. Hugs to Evie for me if she can handle it.

 

[Kathy]

Thank you Veiled, I am not very talkative at the moment however I very much appreciate your thoughts on this. Good to read that yet another person has had a similar experience. It is indeed difficult to simply watch it happen and do nothing, however that is what we ended up doing. I believe there were a few triggers and different things all at once that caused it. Our household is in quite an upheaval at the moment in a few different respects, I'm certain that contributed. However it is thankfully past, for this round at least. That is an interesting point you make, that good stress may cause it as well. I will have to keep that in mind. Evie has had a few good things happen to her lately however it slipped my mind that they were also stress! Of course though you are correct. Thank you for pointing that out.

And yes Evie is in love with her car, though she is not permitted to drive it yet, it is still too soon after her surgery. Other members of the family have been taking her out in it almost daily and she has attempted several times to sneak past me to sleep in it at night but I don't permit that. It gets below freezing at night now!

 

[Deleted member 93]

Well, her being a young woman and needing to be one I do hope she succeeds in sneaking past you one night for a spin around the block! I imagine that would be an awesome feeling for her even if she got sick later... Call it exposure therapy :)

I knew I used to get them but my doc said they were more emotional more than being there (I would be there but shutdown). I never knew my flashbacks were just that (flashbacks). Ha, I used to feel so sorry for people who had them and happy I was spared.

This is from my other posting, so I think I know what she is feeling. I forgot so much and shutdown I was just there. I cannot believe now that I never knew these were flashbacks. I know now since I do cry out at times and am told and no one should ever touch me since it gets way bad then. I just hope she is doing better as I hate any one having to go through the same things I do. No one should ever have to do this.

 

[Kathy]

If she were physically healthy I would have no problem with her staying out all night if she wished it. However with the cancer and recent surgery I am concerned about her becoming ill. Additionally she is not permitted to drive her car at the moment as she has these "attacks" of passing out without warning, and could have an accident as a result. As soon as she's physically able to handle things I will loosen the reigns. :wink: