For All Of You Who Are Married Or In A Long Term Relationship

[BLHutch]

I was a year or two into my first marriage before I first started to show symptoms. I was a firefighter then and hand a string of tough calls over the course of a year or so. When it rains it pours. I got extremely withdrawn, angry, had nightmares, etc. In hindsight, I can kind of see why her family all thought I was an ass! Her response was to drink. Now she had been a heavy drinker when we got married, but the reason we got married was because she was pregnant. She quit drinking when she found out, of course, and I thought that it was for good. Wrong! She was already an alcoholic and so my PTSD didn't help her any. It never let up and would come and go.

When I made the transition to law enforcement, she made the decision to ask for a divorce which I all too readily accepted. By that point we had been married slightly over 5 years but we were living separate lives. Did PTSD cost me my marriage? No, not really. But it sure didn't help matters any. Maybe being a non-drinker married to an alcoholic had something to do with it! But I am happy to say that my first wife just celebrated 2 years of sobriety and is headed down the right path. I am very proud of her as I know how hard it was for her to reach that point.

I got remarried the following year and we will celebrate 6 years this coming March. I was a police officer when we got married and so she got to see what I looked like after experiencing trauma firsthand, as did my first wife. But my PTSD didn't go through the roof until a couple of months ago. When I was forced to hand in the badge and gun after developing Degenerative Disc Disease, all of those incidents that I had buried far away in my subconscious came roaring back.

It has been a daily struggle to be sure. She tries to help me as best she can and she is supportive of me. We have an unbreakable bond. Though I may fear that I am going crazy from time to time, I know that she is with me no matter what. I just have to keep working on not pushing her away when I am having one of my "bad days".

 

[Lucycat]

I have been married for 28 years. Was diagnosed with CPTSD 4 years ago, caused by sexual abuse as a child. Hubby knew that 'stuff had happened' but no detail, even before we married. It is only when the proverbial sh1t hit the fan 4 years ago that he became aware of the extent of the problem. He is ( now retired) a psychiatric nurse! He could have accessed therapy for me years ago if only I had shared with him - but I was a classic case of head-in-the-sand denial of my past.

The relationship has changed since I was diagnosed, but I think in a good way. We are much more acutely aware of how much we need each other, and need to care for each other. We share more and talk more about thoughts and feelings. I love him to bits!!

 

[Britt.f7]

I've been married 19 years and it happened after diagnosis and treatment. Not that it has been smooth sailing. It's missed intimacy on and off for years at a time. At least sexual. Thankfully I have a husband who understands and is patient. Not that I always think I deserve that.

 

[Townsend]

I'm a Firefighter/ EMT, and in year three of a very serious relationship, or at least I thought so until about four days ago. In my years as a Firefighter and EMT I have seen death many times, but it wasn't until October of last year that any of it really affected my life. We had two bad fatality calls in a four day period. Both very big figures in our small community. After that I started getting nightmares, started randomly breaking down, started drinking heavily, lost my normal happy glow, and thoughts of suicide. My girlfriend and I were planning on getting married until about four days ago when she told me she didn't love me anymore. My world feels like its spiraling out of control, and every day seems to be a bad day lately. I feel like without her my life is incomplete, like its not worth living. I want to take control, and go back to being the man she fell in love with.

 

[Tympre]

I am in my third marriage and we have been together 5 years. I did not have PTSD until last fall. He has his own issues and sometimes that makes us unable to be there for each other, in fact I end up being there more for him than him for me. But I did not marry him for me, I married him for him. It has been very hard since the onset as he was used to my being there for him and I am not nearly as much now. We dont see eye to eye on a lot of things, and many times I wonder if the relationship will last. But in the end of the day I know neither of us is leaving and tomorrow is a another day.