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Forgiving ourselves...

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I can relate. I have a young, inner child-self that is scared a lot and I have to comfort and reassure that part of myself if I want to be calm, cool, and collected. It is not as bad as it used to be, actually is a lot better than before, but never has quite gone away. But it's okay I am better at managing it. It is something I once had to forgive myself for, but understand it is normal now.
 
I am checking out for a while, guys. Need a break. Need to escape from my demons. A little too much reality for my inner child to handle. God bless you all. Bye. :happy:​
 
Great Vee for forgiving yourself.

I also second Freida...good thread.

Maybe it’s related to the specific types of trauma. I played willing parts in all of my trauma (or it feels like I did) and trying to forgive and show forgiveness and compassion to different parts of my inner child is very difficult. My inner child has developed a voice this week. The first time in 30 years so I guess it’s time to try a little harder to forgive. Therapy has been horrendous this week but I can feel some movement.

Sending strength to all or you PTSD is such a difficult journey.
 
How can I forgive myself for allowing my husband to psychologically abuse my daughter for 17 years? I could go on about the mitigating circumstances ie he was an incredibly clever and manipulative sociopath, I was also being abused without realising it, he used his apparent mental illness to explain everything, I was abused as a child, my daughter had Asperger’s Syndrome but wasn’t diagnosed until she was 16, etc etc, but I don’t see how it’s possible to forgive myself for not protecting her.
 
@Princess Pearl This is a long hard process. For me, it has been simply looking at the truth of things. Not making excuses for myself, but at the same time, learning, key word there, learning, had I known another way I would have done it. I have to look at it in a more simple way. Forgiveness has a lot of meanings and interpretations... It never means what we did or didn't do was ok. It means we made a lot of mistakes, and us getting healthy, being present for our kids here and now... and not beating our self up over things we can not change about the past.

Becoming the women we are meant to be... I have lost my son over not knowing a different way.. so I have had to accept, that I did, said and acted out things he did not deserve.If he ever chooses to reenter my life... my awareness will make a huge difference... but I no longer beat myself up... not going to lie... this part has been hard and multi faceted... but I'm more ok today than I was even a year ago.... talk about it, With your T, with us here.... many moms here in the same situation...You will find your way... sending heart to heart hugs if you accept.
 
How can I forgive myself for allowing my husband to psychologically abuse my daughter for 17 ye...

Maybe you can’t completely forgive yourself for this, but you can do something about it. Maybe get your daughter into therapy so she learns from your mistakes and doesn’t repeat them with your grandchildren. Maybe you speak or volunteer at a women’s shelter.

All I know is that continually punishing ourselves for what we should’ve done doesn’t help anyone. I haven’t met anyone with PTSD who doesn’t have a lot of guilt about something. I’m trying to be more proactive about mine.
 
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