Friendship Freaking Out Is It Normal With Ptsd?

[Shortie]

Hi all,

I havent gotten mayn friendship (not too sad but i simply dont trust a lot of people).

Anyway over the pain year me and my friendship has gotten closer she went though a bad patch with her lose of her hasband and now she come across something quite upsetting.

Ive told her my thoughts and so have others. She still goes again us.

However am now having a hard time to feel the need to continue the friendship how bad is that! I dont know why but i cannot cope with negativity such as her saying she wants to die sooner ect.

I just am freaking i know she wont do that but she so so negativie it freaking me out. I just want to pull the cord and bail. But my others sides of me saying she is having it hard at the moment be their so, i am but am thinking i dont want this.

I dont want to lose her as a friend she needs me right now but i need to back off a little but not so that i completely bail. I feel so rubbish about it but i dont know if its about my ptsd, thinking to myself i just want out of here. I just cannot cope with to much negativity, am unwell myself physically and then mentally with my ptsd.

I feel such a rubbish person but am so so torn. I have her round soon for xmas because i dont want her to be on her own. Now am dreading it!

Am i being a bad person??

 

[Richie]

her state of mind right now is normal but probably not rational. Whether you lose someone through death or break up, you are still mourning them because you miss them being there with you. As the supporting friend there is not much you can do except wait for them to come to you. In the meantime all you can do is be there to offer support but you cant force it on anyone.
as for the friend/trust issue. I can count my close friends on one hand but they are very good friends and I am extremely loyal to them. I value quality over quantity when it comes to people because I dont trust anyone but that is only my view based on my own experience which is largely influenced by military culture. If your friend is worth it then I would do what you need to do to keep her friendship even if that means giving each other a bit of space and time. Everyone needs that now and again so don't worry about doing it

 

[Shortie]

her state of mind right now is normal but probably not rational. Whether you lose someone through death...

Hi,

Yes, i want to keep the friendship, negativity is quite hard for me to swallow. Ive been with her though the greiving process but she found out that he wasnt the man she though he was put it that way.

She is extremely negativie but after speaking to her family and others friends it seems she always been negativie.

Ive told her to think positive and do positive things and gave her examples.

She got completely trollied the others day. She just cried and cried. I was their physically to help but mentally i wasnt if that makes sense.

I was thinking BAIL, BAIL!

I understand the feeling of brotherhood and sisterhood with being in the ambulance service and a bike but i know from family experience of the military nothing compares to it your like for your following brother or sister from another mother if that makes sense.

This type of friendship civvy friendship is weird. Working on the ambos we couldnt be negativie, id not last 2 minutes! I became somewhat cold to some of the sights i saw. Joked about them, it was a way we cope with my colleagues.

If am not their physically and mentally at the same time my brain thinks of others things.

I feel terrible for it am not the 'true friend' in that sense.

Some maybe say i should know batter while ive gave her so much mentally, she calls me her angel. Just lately am just not all there, ive got a lot going on in my life (was rushed to hospital last week and then next week i will have a potential diagnosis which will change my life and my family)

Thanks hun

 

[Richie]

there is nothing for you to feel terrible about. It sounds like you have been a goof friend to her and even gone to seek information so you can get a better understanding of her. That in itself shows a lot of commitment on your part but you can do so much. You cant help someone who does not want to be helped and you clearly have your own problems. Sometimes you have to put yourself first and she will hopefully understand that one day. That is life and you might feel bad about it, you have nothing to feel bad about. You cant help your friend if you become overburdened by your own problems. I would try and find a balance so you can still be there when she needs you but you are not feeling so frustrated by the fact that right now she is not responding very well to your support

 

[Rani G2]

ive got a lot going on in my life (was rushed to hospital last week and then next week i will have a potential Diagnosis which will change my life and my family)

Respect for still being there for a friend Shortie!

 

[Shortie]

Thanks all x