Frozen Flashback Feeling

[keifer]

Am I alone here? I have an emotional flashback or something. It's a feeling of darkness which doesn't replay or provide images. It's like a frozen feeling of darkness, paralysis, and fear.

It can get worse to where I feel them more distinctly. It was bad enough one time, I could make out two of the shadows. They won't leave me alone.

It doesn't last for a short while. Last evening, it lasted until 0300 when I passed out. I can do other things, but it never goes away.

Sometimes, I cry a bit or shake. One trigger, I shook for two hours and just continued to drive home. I'm sick and tired of just riding it out. I've had it off and on today, I can't sleep like this. I want it to end.

Why did they do this to me? Why can't they undo it? Those drug giving unethical doctors!

 

[NewDayTomorrow]

What are you referring to about drug giving unethical doctors? I had a neurologist prescribe a bad medication in double the max clinically studied dose under a false name, then she lied about it such that my symptoms were declared psychosomatic until I stopped the medication and became sane again...I can relate to the "why did they do this/why can't they undo" feeling.

I saw some shadows, had the nightmarish can't-sleep feeling for some time after that. It happens less often now, but I sort of understand the whole "I can do other things" but still can't escape that feeling. Or shaking while driving, that has happened to me as well. My thing happened over a year ago it has gotten better since.

Good luck. Feel free to message me privately if you want to talk more.

 

[keifer]

I was given amnesia without my consent and mixed with narcotics which cause me to be very depressed and suicidal.

 

[lukesa]

You were given amnesia? What?

Flashback is a word, there isnt nesessarily a visual flash of images, however with severe ptsd auditory/visual hallucinations can occur. Thoughts and mental imagery occurring are much more common, as is a flashback of emotion or physical sensation related to the trauma while exeriencing the flashback.

It can feel similar to a violent mood swing. For me it feela like suddenly falling down a hole of hopelessness and helplessness that worsens if i dont break its momentum.

Developing mental strategies to identify when this is happening was my first step to figuring out what to do when i realize its happening. And for me, snapping myself away from the seductive pull of laying depressing thoufht after thought onto my pity pile is very important. Getting to where i can say " whoa, okay im having a flashback" versus "oh shit shit shit shit"

 

[lukesa]

Sensations (emotional amd otherwise) relating to your specific trauma is what makes it a flashback.

I also experience moodswings into depression in general, which is similar, but as it is not related to past events it isnt a "flashback" despite the similarity of some of the emotional goings on when it happens