Getting Accountability For My Abuse

[recoveringfromptsd]

The plus in this is my T is able to help me work thru what is practical, harmful, realistic, and such. So that when I reach the time for it, its done in such a way that my needs are met while not having it overwhelm me or make me unsafe. The hard part is I have to put the plan together so it covers what I want. And we work from that, and change it as needed.

I very much expect that I may not be allowed to pursue this until I reach a point in recovery where I can handle this without decompensating. And my need for this may even change by then. By having a plan at this point for this, allows me to set it aside in my head until the time comes where I am allowed to deal with it.

Some may asked why, well I have found it near impossible to forget what was done to me, even when I am grounded it stays on my mind too much. I have figured out that because the way it was done and my safety was taken away from me by people who were mandated to actually protect me from the abuse and I had to just let it happen over and over again because I had no one to turn to, as those I did simply put me back in the same place. This has the effect that I can't feel safe inside with anyone or situation or place outside of myself, the only way I can address that is to get accountability or try. My mind needs to know that I can turn to someone to protect me and my interests without betrayal. Right now I have nothing that gives me that. I will always be on guard for betrayal until I can get at least an effort towards accountability.

I am not looking to see anyone jailed, and that is not realistic even though there are some sex crimes involved that do not have a SOL. And these is no way to prove such now short of a confession.

But what I do want to see happen is it be on the record, and Arlington DSS reviewed for what occurred at that time and was swept under the rug because of the politics of those days. What I want to see is a DOJ capta investigation, just an investigation alone accomplishes accountability as it sends the message to DSS that sweeping under the rug was not successful in the end. No DSS wants to be labeled participants in abuse.

I know its possible my CAPTA complaint may go nowhere, trying is good enough, radical acceptance of that is where I will be left with.

There is another element I want to get addressed as well, but it has to do with the courts and something that took place involving EHS and DSS, that I also want to get it on record at minimum.

I also have a lawyer friend I can call on if I need.

 

[Sideways]

That's awesome news. And I'm rooting for you to get a really positive outcome:)

But you know the part I like best about your plan, is the way that your T is working with you in a really responsible, empowering way to go for what it is important to you. Because when the whole thing gets wrapped up, whatever the outcome, your T has proven to you: some people can do care, and can be trusted. No amount of rort in the legal or complaints process would ever be able to take that away. Go you!

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@Ragdoll Circus Exactly Right, it also provides me the structure I need for radical acceptance if the results are less than what I would like. Best of all it acknowledges my needs. Until now, the therapist at the hospital gave me the question, "Are you prepared for the stress if others defend themselves". Well with this structure I can take what I can get, I don't need to enter the fight, as getting it out there and in the public record is enough for me.