Getting Angry At Work

[Paz]

I just need to vent a bit...

Today at work something that was honestly relatively small happened. I got this kind of jerk-like smug email from a remote teammate (he's off-site so all conversations are over email). It was about a web thing I'd made that supposedly didn't conform to standards. I wrote him back with an email that a colleague described as firm but polite, everything's getting worked out, everything's fine. Right? Ha.

The thing is that I was so furious over this relatively minor thing that I was literally sitting at my desk shaking. Like, shaking too hard to type (since I had my email open and started immediately composing a reply, probably a good thing. I got over the immediate anger -- deep breaths, closed my office door and lay on the floor for a while -- it but it set the tone for the whole day and I basically spent the rest of the day not getting anything done because I was too busy beating myself up for getting so angry over a trivial thing. I know that outwardly I handled everything just fine...but that's not what it looks like from the inside and it scares me. It's hardly the first time it's happened and I worry so much about my job performance and hiding my problems from my colleagues, including some colleagues who are also good friends outside of work.

I get where the anger comes from...I guess we all do...I think I just need a (virtual) hug!! I am new to the forum and don't really know people yet so thanks for reading.

 

[franciemarnie]

(((((((hug))))))))

I have been there more times than I'd like to count!!!!

I went thru two boxing bags over time. Beat the hell out of them. Working out especially after work helped me significantly although I know for some people it gets them more riled. For me, it helped deflate the thing.

You handled it beautifully. I hope the feeling has dissipated.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Massive HUGS XX

 

[Paz]

Thank you both so much!! I went for a run after work (right after writing this actually). It does definitely help me. Just one more day in the work week to get through...

 

[franciemarnie]

You know I was thinking about it and it really was a triumph what you did. I would have considered it one anyway insofar as for years in that situation I remained silent and turned the anger inward, or a few times I went into a flash rage. But to handle it so professionally was fantastic.

You went for a run to handle the adrenalin, so great. We break all the rules of the system that often blindly held sway. I love that. It's supremely difficult sometimes so all the more kudos. Yay!

 

[Paz]

Thank you for the encouragement Franciemarnie. I wish I could 100% agree with you but I know I *did* turn some of the anger on myself...or got really angry at myself for being angry...hmm, now I'm not sure if that's the same thing. Something to discuss in therapy I guess. Outwardly I handled it all professionally which I am proud of...but inside it really ruined my day. With the run as a possible bright spot I suppose. Wish I could have left my desk and gone for a run at 10 AM when this all happened!!